Extended family gathering

It was a gathering foe the descendants of Lebai Salleh and Rokiah. The oldest living descendants were their grandchildren, the offsprings of their seven children. That means there are about 400 members and almost three hundred members attended from all over Malaysia. We wore seven different colors according to which one of the seven children of Lebai Salleh and Rokiah we come from. So there were many familiar faces and unfamiliar faces in one compound. The event was held in the compound of two of the grandchildren who are neighbors.

We cooked and had some fun activities together. The most touching part was when my father read out the history of the family. Lebai Salleh and his four siblings migrated for Siam or Thailand now due to the harsh treatment Muslim received from the Siam government. Life was unbearably difficult there. All five of them chose different parts of Kedah to settle down, start planting rice and taught Qur'an to their young neighbors.

It was a time to rekindled with long lost relatives. It was a time to get to know unknown relatives. We even set up a group in FaceBook. The event left a fond memory to me. Plans are made to repeat such gathering once a year. May Allah bless those involved in the planning of the event.

May Allah bless us all.

Congratulations

PMR's result went out last Thursday. As the form teacher of 3KAA, I looked forward to their result. I have put a lot of time and effort to help all of them to achieve their best. So when six of them got 9 straight As, I praise Allah for this blessing. The others were excellent too.

There's quite a lot of surprises too. At the middle of the year they were still quite weak in a lot of subjects. Their trial results were not as good as we wish for. Maybe this was what make them struggle after that. While doing their exercises everyone was so quiet that you can hear the sound of a pencil dropping to the floor. Even Dila was soundless to the surprise of everyone. Usually she always has something to say. And when she doesn't agree with anything she will make sure everyone knows. But after the trial exam she was as quiet as the peaceful lake. This allowed everyone to focus on their work.

Team work was obvious there. I paired the good students with the weaker ones so that they can help each other. The good students will remember better when they teach their friends. The weaker ones can understand reasons from their peers better than the teacher's explanation for they speak the 'same' language.

I was bombarded in the curriculum meeting just after the trial exam because four students from my class failed Maths, my subject. My excuse was quickly brushed aside. But the kids final result in the PMR exam was excellent and exemplary. Only four didn't get A for maths. Two of them got B and another two got C. The rest scored A. Allah has been kind to me. Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah. I got a lot of thank you from my students. My response is, "This is your success. As your teacher, I'm happy for you".

May Allah bless us all.

Thank you mom and dad

It was the first time my little Aiman ride a train that has bunk beds. He was pretty excited last night waiting for the train. Going back to our home town with his older brother and sister, he had planned a week ahead of what he wanted to do there. Fishing is on top of his list of course. Fishing can be done from the window of my mom's kitchen for there is a stream at the back of the house full of talapia fish. There are so many fish that you can choose to fish just the big size ones. Incredible! And all of the fish are so hungry, catching them will be just a matter of minutes.

I'm happy to send my kids to my parents' place. My parents will be busy filling their time with the laughter of their grandchildren and my kids will be happy being pampered by their granny. It will be memorable time for both party. This is a gift of love for my parents that have raised me up to be the person I am now. Thank you mom and dad for everything. Nothing can repay your hardship raising us up. I truly hope all of you will enjoy yourselves tremendously together there. I will come home soon to pick up the kids.

May Allah bless us all.

How to develop your child's creativity

I think it all started when my six years old son, Aiman, accompanied me to buy some fish. The table that displayed all the fish was in front of a row of houses. Two small kids were attending the stall, a small boy of about Aiman's age and his older brother. They weighted the fish I have chosen and used a calculator to calculate the amount of money that I had to pay. Their father was monitoring them from the yard of their house behind the stall. Aiman asked a lot of questions about the boys. Later on he mentioned about putting up a stall in front of our house to sell the talapia fish that were reared in our two ponds.

When my husband bought a wild chicken with its nine chicks, Aiman asked him what are my husband's plan for it. Fleetingly my husband just mentioned that he is going to sell the chicks when they are big enough because wild chicken are expensive. Aiman asked my husband if he is going to put up a stall in front of the house to do that. My husband explained to him how we can sell using the internet. It was obvious that my little Aiman is interested in business.

My eldest son came home and bought for Aiman an ice cream container that can hold four ice creams. Two days after that we were surprised when a kid rang our bell and told us that she wanted to buy an ice cream. We thought there must be a mistake some where. Then one evening a few kids came to buy ice cream from Aiman. To our surprised Aiman had taken orders from his friends. He served them ice cream that he made himself. He even took orders for the next day. So yesterday I make some Malaysian ice cream to help and support Aiman in his business. We were further surprised when Aiman put up a sticker outside our gate saying 'open'. And when we are going out he will change the sticker to 'close'. Wow! He had put a lot of thinking and effort on how to make his business a success. He even asked me to prepare the type of ice cream that his friends had pre ordered so that he will not lose his customers.

As a family, we always entertain all his questions to our best and little Aiman really have a lot of questions to ask. Sometimes I will answer his questions by asking him back his questions innocently. Then after a short pause he will said, "....oh I know mama, it is like that because......"

Eureka! I have further enhanced his creativity.

If we are impatient to entertain his many questions Aiman wouldn't be a businessman at the age of six. I let him do things that he can handle at his age which are not dangerous. So AIman can prepare ice blended coming back from kindergarden. Of course the kitchen will be messy after that but I have to be patient to develop as many skills as he can gain.

May Allah bless us all.

Life is just a passing by

We heard that he had health problem. But when my son asked his son about it, he said that his father was ok. So it was a shock when we received the news that he died yesterday. A lost to my community since he was an active member. Every year the neighborhood organize Eid or Hari Raya function in front of his house.

The hardest part for me was watching his family members kissing his face to say good bye before his body was taken away to the grave yard last night. And our time will come soon enough.

Are we prepared to 'go' and leave our family behind? In term of amal or deeds, nobody has done enough good deeds to qualify us for heaven or jannah. If we are to enter heaven, it is because of Allah's mercy and love for us.

I have always waited for the time for me to go and see my creator, Allah the almighty, and my prophet, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). As for my family Allah will take care of them. When I leave, I want everybody to know that I have forgiven everyone and I seek everybody's forgiveness to me. Only those who long to see Allah will understand what's inside my heart. And may Allah accept me as his blessed servant and forgive all my sin. Amin.

May Allah bless us all.

Striking a balance

In this fast pace world some people forget how to relax. They can relax physically but they can't relax mentally. Sitting down watching tv, their minds wander off to their office, project, assignment or whatever they are working on. When their minds are focussed on all these pressing things, every small matter looks ominous. Like a chair that's blocking the way. Small things can cause big fuss.

On the other hand there are some people that tend to relax too much. "There are still time", and they procrastinate. Doing their work last minute and thus, producing shoddy works. When we fail to plan we plan to fail.

It is difficult at time to strike a balance. Sometimes we find solace in other people that are behind schedule like us, produce bad quality works like us, etc. We forget to look at the good workers as a source of inspiration. Take time to ponder upon this matter.

May Allah bless us all.

ominous - giving the impression that something bad or unpleasant is going to happen; threatening; inauspicious : there were ominous dark clouds gathering overhead.

procrastinate - postpone action; put off doing something : it won't be this price forlong, so don't procrastinate.

solace - comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness : she sought solace inher religion.

How to relax

I remember a class I took when I was doing my first degree in Western Illinois University in 1985. The class is called relaxation. It was both easy and tough at the same time. We were suppose to lie down, close our eyes and imagine a beautiful scenery of a water fall. The sound of the water fall is so sweet. Birds singing around. Bright colored flowers adorn the scenery.

We were suppose to forget everything else and relaxed. Then unexpectedly the instructor will take our hand up and throw it down. If we put up even a single resistance (the tense of our muscles for example) the he will pronounced us failed. We were supposed to fully relaxed and do not react. It was hard at first for we tend to resist when people took our hands unexpectedly, a natural reaction. But eventually all of us learned to fully relaxed.

Now when I'm a bit apprehensive or depressed I found that the philosophy I learned in that class is really helpful. Keep quiet and focussed our attentions on the positive aspects of live. There are things that we can't changed so save our energy and effort for the things that we can do something about it. At the very least be positive and be grateful to Allah for every little thing that we have.

Thank you Allah for all the guidance you so lovingly bestow upon me.

May Allah bless us all.

adorn - make more beautiful or attractive : pictures and prints adorned his walls.

apprehensive - anxious or fearful that something bad or unpleasant will happen : he felt apprehensive about going home | [with clause ] they were apprehensive thatsomething might go wrong.

bestow - present (an honor, right, or gift) : the office was bestowed on him by the chief of state | thank you for this honor that you have bestowed upon me

Contraction of marriage

Just came home the my nephew's majlis akad nikah or contraction of marriage ceremony. A sacred function that unify a man and a woman as husband and wife. Both the bride and bridegroom looked radiant in white.

It reminds me of my own akad nikah ceremony 22 years ago. I was full of suspense, anxious and happy over the prospect of marriage. Happy because every girl is happy to marry. Suspense because I never dated him before. As good muslims we avoid relationship before marriage. It was a marriage arranged by our older friends. And at that time there was no sms, facebook, or email. Even telephone was a luxury. Every communication was through our middleman or rather middle couple. But all the suspense add up to the excitements of love after marriage. And we are very much in love until now.

Our eldest son is already 21 years old. We are preparing ourselves for the day when one by one our kids will marry and leave the nest. As parents I hope we have set good examples of how a husband should loves and care for his wife and vice versa. May Allah bless my family!

May Allah bless us all.

Self Satisfaction

At the end of the year, a lot of teachers are dissatisfied over the jobs given to them next year. As for me even though I'm given tough jobs (leading two committees), I don't have any complaint. As I said to one of my fellow teacher, we can choose to do our job happily or do it with a grumble. We still have to finish the job. As I always said in this blog, I always choose to lead a happy life.

A happy life is not about what we have or don't have but rather about how we appreciate what we have, while we still have it. For example some people choose to divorce their 'imperfect' partner only to find out that their life is worst off after that.

Nobody is perfect. We need to seek perfection in ourselves but we have to accept imperfections in other people. When we seek perfection in ourselves we will keep on improving. When we accept imperfection in other people we are practicing tolerance.

May we lead a happy life by choice.

May Allah bless us all.

Allah's Blessings

What a wonderful life we will have if we don't grumble too much. Appreciate what we have while we have it.

How splendid things will be if we can praise more the people around us. To praise my daughter when she cook our lunch for instance. Just close one eye when she does not wash the clothes since she cook lunch. Instead of grumbling our relationship will flower if I appreciate what she has done instead of focusing my attention on what she does not do.

What a wonderful relationship I will have with my husband if I wait for him at the door with a smile and a hug. His presence light up my life.

What a family I have when my kids miss me from far. Remembering me at their college hostels. And I will always pray to Allah for their success in every aspects. To share their dreams and problems.

Thank you Allah for every single thing.

May Allah bless us all.

A bad day

Everything that can go wrong, went wrong yesterday morning. The label on each class's exam paper had a lot of mistakes. I was exhausted when I did the labeling. And I completely forgotten to write the names of the teachers that started and ended the paper for each class. I was called to the examination room where I was greeted by a loud scold by a senior teacher. She made it clear how mad she was.

Deep inside my heart I knew I deserved that. I admitted I made the lousy mistakes which really spoilt my reputation. Allah give this test to me as a kifarah to reduce my sin; that is if I remain patient and accept the test calmly. To reduce my sin when I criticized other people that make mistakes. Now I'm on the hot spot and this remind me to be kinder to other people when they make mistakes. Thank you Allah for this lesson. All these are making me a more patience person.

May Allah bless us all.

Role model teacher

She is one of the best teacher I have ever met. She never brag about her achievement but I can see many of her students got grade A for her subject, English.

Having to teach English because lack of English teachers, I have a lot of short comings. She always guide me and is never secretive about the best method to tackle students of different levels. I docilely carry out every advice she gave me. And it works. There are distinct increase on my students' marks.

For next year, she was asked to choose which class she wants to teach. She leave it to the administration to give her whichever class because she told me she can adjust her method of teaching according to the level of the students. What I admired about her is that she works quietly without much complaints and is ever ready to perform her duties to her best. I reflect this to myself. I complaints at times. Just how sincere am I? It seems to me that she is a much more sincere teacher than I am. I've learned a lot from this quiet teacher and I'm changing myself to be more like her. May Allah bless her and all teachers.

May Allah bless us all.

docile - ready to accept control or instruction; submissive : a cheap and docileworkforce.

The truth

Hajj is around the corner. For those who are chosen by Allah to perform their hajj this year, my prayer is always with all of you. How I wish I can be there too to perform my hajj for the second time.

Deep inside I always pray to Allah that I will be able to visit Mecca and Medina again before I close my eyes to be with Allah. To visit Kaaba, the holy house that Allah instructed Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) and Prophet Ismail (Isaac) to build. The holy house that muslims from all over the world will turn our faces to while performing our prayer, a symbol of unity. Just imagine the whole world muslim community turn our faces to the same direction. This is something that does not exist in any other religion.

Christian and Jew originally were the religions of the prophets sent by Allah to guide human being. Prophet Muhammad is the last in the line of Prophets. Every human being being is suppose to follow the last religion, Islam, that contain a complete teaching from how to eat to how to rules a country. Christianity and Jew were distorted or changed from the original teaching by their religious leaders. I know some of you out there will be mad at this statement but the truth is always the truth. I pray to Allah that each and everyone of us will find the truth. Allah will grant the truth to those who sincerely seek for the truth. My doa and prayer for all those that seek to find the truth.

For those who have doubt in their heart whether they have found the truth, just pray to god, no matter what your religion is now. Sincerely ask for the truth and Allah will give you signs. You know you have found the truth when there is no more doubt and questions in your heart. No more secret dissatisfaction inside you. If you are sincere, the truth will come your way. May you find the truth. May you find the answer to who you are, who is the real god, why you are created, and what is your mission in this life. My prayer is always with you.

May Allah bless us all.

Aspiring teacher

I attended a course for Economics teachers a few months ago. I met with a great teacher there that conducted the course. It was the second time I met her while attending courses and she never fail to leave a permanent mark on me.

She talked about being sincere in our works. Trying our level best to give the best to all our students. And she talked about being a good mother and wife. Cook meals for our family instead of buying prepared lunch or dinner. She said our sincerity in preparing the meals will go a long way to our kids and husband. And she taught me not to complaint about works. Just try our best and Allah will reward us - not human beings. May Allah bless people like her.

May Allah bless us all.

Unrealized blessings

I suddenly realized that my itchiness has gone. In fact it has been gone for a long, long time that I didn't realized when. The itchiness has long bothered me on and off. Gone for a short time before coming back unexpectedly. But now it is gone permanently, praise be to Allah.

This makes me think that there are lots and lots of blessing from Allah that we didn't realized and we should be thankful everyday if not every hour. This realization makes me feel so tiny, so ungrateful to Allah Almighty. May Allah forgive all my sins.

May Allah bless us all.

Words

Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h), said if we do not have anything good to say than it is better for us to keep quiet. This is one of the thing that I find quite hard to do especially when I'm among friends. When we talk too much, we tend to talk negatively about someone. But to be a 'quite' person we are sometimes labelled as unfriendly, a recluse, and so on.

May Allah give me a heart that will always feel uneasy whenever I talk negatively about other people.

May Allah bless us all.

The reason for the test in our life

When we received a lot of test in our life, that means Allah loves us. Allah wants to hear us praying to Him in our difficult times. But on the contrary we always ask ourselves 'why me?'. Well, why not?

If we said we are the true believers than we will be tested. A test to our iman or faith. We can say that we are true believers but the test in our life will determine whether our words match our faith.

Once my friend was crushed because her husband had a new love. He had no qualm about making it clear to his wife that he had a new love in his life. He was always in mad mood and my friend was always the target of his anger. I was there to comfort her as much and as far as I can. I told her that there is something good waiting for her after all this suffering. Just like Allah's promise in Surah Al-Insyirah that means "So verily, with the hardship, there is relief. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief". Her husband eventually divorced her and marry his new sweetheart.

It was during this period that she met her old college mate that has always secretly admired her from far during college time. He took the second opportunity to ask her to marry him. They are happily married and I was there on their wedding day. I stumbled upon them this morning having breakfast in a restaurant with their second baby. Their happiness is clearly shown on their faces. They had find the relief that Allah has promise after every hardship.

So the next time we face a big test in our life concentrate our energy on the good thing that Allah promise will come on our way. Do not waste our energy and focus on our bad fate but divert them to what's good waiting for us behind all these.

May Allah bless us all.

qualm - an uneasy feeling of doubt, worry, or fear, esp. about one's own conduct; a misgiving : military regimes generally have no qualms about controllingthe press.

Family outing

We went out together. The whole family. My three boys came home from their various universities and this is an occasion to be celebrated. The request to buy shampoo took the whole family to a shopping complex and we had dinner there.

A family that go out together stays together. Even though my kids are grown up already, we are still like we were 15 years ago. Quality time is a good idea but it still cannot compensate quantity time. Soon they will be married one by one. Hopefully when we go out in the future there will be more people in our team (with our daughters/son in law and grand kids) instead of lesser (just me and my husband). The more the merrier. May Allah bless my family with happiness.

May Allah bless us all.

Extra classes

Some teachers have paid tuition classes. They make quite a hefty amount. Some even earn more than their salary. But for me I just offer extra class after school voluntarily.

I can see the pattern. Teachers who have tuition classes rarely, if ever, give extra classes after school hours. On the other hand, teachers who give a lot of extra classes are not really interested in tuition classes. Just extra classes for the sake of their students' success. Of course there are those that give both extra classes and paid tuition classes but this group is small.

I believe my reward is that Allah will take care of my kids in their study. Allah will make it easy for them in one way or another. I have seen my kids suddenly excel in their study before. And it will happen again. With Allah's will.

May Allah bless us all.

Praise versus scold

A Malay proverb says that if we follow our heart we will die. But American always say follow your heart. I think both sayings apply to two completely different situations.

If somebody makes us mad and we become angry, then to me we are no better than that somebody since we are doing exactly the same thing - being mad. If somebody do something bad to us and that makes us having no qualm to do the same to him/her, then are we any better than that person?

When I was young I was highly spirited and always try to fight back. Now I silently accept all the negative remarks or angry words directed towards me. If we think about it, angry words might contain more truth in it than praises that we received. When people are mad at us they will say the negative aspects of us that we might not notice before. On the other hand, a praise may be overboard or insincere. As we aged we will have more wisdom to see through things.

1. Have We not opened your breast for you (O Muhammad (peace be upon him))?

2. And removed from you your burden,

3. And removed from you your burden,

4. And raised high your fame?

5. So verily, with the hardship, there is relief,

6. Verily, with the hardship, there is relief ,

7. So when you have finished, then stand up for Allah worship,

8. And to your Lord (alone) turn (all intentions and hopes and) your invocations.

Al Insyirah

In the above chapter, Allah stresses twice that in every hardship actually there is relief. What more do I need than Allah's promise that in every hardship I faced thare's something good waiting for me around the corner. So much so that almost every time that I faced hardship I will try to think of the good things Allah has in store for me.

So the next time people scolded you, after the heat is over try to think of what that person said to you. Maybe there's a lot of truth that you need to know.

May Allah bless us all.

qualm - an uneasy feeling of doubt, worry, or fear, esp. about one's own conduct;a misgiving : military regimes generally have no qualms about controlling the press.

The simple meaning of happiness

We had our dinner outside tonight at a restaurant that my two kids chose. Eating out is a luxury that my kids enjoy very much. Little Aiman ordered his favourite - chips and nugget. My girl tried mocca coffee. My girl and I ordered fried noodle and my husband ordered fried rice. There's a lot of prawns on our plate. Finishing my noodle, suddenly my husband put his prawn on my plate. He had already peeled off its skin. He knows that I love prawn. I ate the prawn with chilly sauce. Then he put a second peeled off prawn. I finished that too.

Source of happiness doesn't have to come from money or materials. The simple acts of love speaks a thousand more words than a love letter. Just open our heart to every small act of love that our loved ones show to us. Concentrate on the positive sides. Forget short comings. Nobody is perfect for we are just human and human err.

Choose to be happy. Don't choose to be dissatisfied. The choice is ours. For Hooi Ching, I hope you can practice this.

May Allah bless us all.

err - be mistaken or incorrect; make a mistake : the judge had erred in ruling that the evidence was inadmissible.

Missing Ramadhan

Back from the Eid Mubarak celebration and starting to teach today, I miss Ramadhan so much. Like losing a dear friend. I miss doing every routine in Ramadhan. Busy preparing meals in the evening for breaking the fast, preparing the meal for sahur at around 4.30 in the morning before waking up every one, finding time to read the Holy Qur'an, going to the musolla at night for Terawih prayer, stealing time while preparing sahur to perform Tahajjud prayer, I miss everything about Ramadhan.

Will I live long enough to see Ramadhan next year? I don't know. Everyday I try to be a better person than yesterday. And everyday I hope to be a better muslim tomorrow compared to today. Just like what Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h) wants us to be.

Today I'm fasting. To complete the six day fast that Allah promise us the reward is equal to a year of fasting. I'm fasting in order to be a good servant of Allah. May Allah accept all our good deeds for only Allah knows the value of each of our deed.

I'm looking forward to the day when I can see Allah and Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h). May Allah grant my wish.

May Allah bless us all.

Eid Al Mubarak Celebration

We shook hands and exchange greetings. We asked forgiveness from each other. We met relatives that we get to see once every two years or so. We exchanged news and stories. It's a time to rekindle old friendship, old ties. A time to revive old memories. A time to introduce our kids to their distant relatives.

In the happiness of celebrating Eid Al Mubarak, I deeply miss the holy month of Ramadhan. The solat Terawih or Terawih prayer performed every night. The solat tahajjud or Tahajjud prayer performed in the middle of the night especially during the last ten nights of Ramadhan. Will I live long enough to meet the next Ramadhan?

The celebration of Eid Al Mubarak reminds me to be sincere in forgiving people. And among the sign of sincerity is not to mention again the mistakes that people had done to me in the past. Easier said than done but I am determine to do it. Just as I want people to forget the mistakes I have done to them, I must do the same thing for them. Sometimes we forget that we are no better than others. Only Allah knows who is better and closer to Him. May Allah forgives all my sins and yours.

May Allah bless us all.

rekindle - revive (something that has been lost) : he tried to rekindle their friendship| the photos rekindled memories.

The blessing of Ramadhan

My orchids are blooming. My tilapia fish had a new school of tilapia babies. We scooped them and transferred into a different pond so that the babies can grow without being eaten. A rare species of our palm plant has fresh young leaves sprouting out at the top. The last time this happen was some years ago. Our chicken has started to produce eggs every two days this Ramadhan after a long period of infertility. We bought a partner to our sole, lonely female rabbit and we expect to get its babies in another 2 months time. I have numerous other gifts from Allah this holy month of Ramadhan.

We contributed some money for the rebuilding of Gaza city. True to Allah's promise we got a whole lot more back. In so many different ways. From different sources. O Allah, transactions with You is always a profitable one. I am constantly reminded to be thankful to Allah by everything around me. Parting of our money for Allah's cause is not 'parting' of money but actually 'receiving' a whole lot more. If only we concentrate on the 'receiving' from Allah, them I'm sure everyone will be generous in the cause of Allah. If only...

I'm enjoying Allah's given pleasure to me like someone basking under the sun after a cold, cold winter. Thank you Allah for giving a lot more than what I gave.

May Allah bless us all.

Digging our own grave

I was listening to Dr Muhaya in Radio IKIM this morning. The topic was softness. Dr Muhaya said if we are destined to be lucky, we will have softness in our heart, action and thought. Among the softness that lucky people have is the ability to forgive.

One listener called and told that she has been slandered twice and she just can't forgive the person because she can still remember vividly how she felt at that time. It is difficult for her to have 'softness; in this manner.

Dr Muhaya responded by saying that if such incident has happened 10 years ago and she still can't forgive it now, that means she has given away 10 years of her life. She didn't has peace of mind all this time and its like she's digging her own grave.

I have always practice forgiving people and I can sit and laugh with the very same person that has hurt me so much before. But Dr Muhaya's words has given me more meaning to what I have done before. I forgive not just for the sake of that person but more for my own sake. I don't want to keep on stumbling with that person and to keep my eyes away from that person's face. Especially if that person is our spouse or our fellow worker. We are just so close physically. I don't want to hurt myself and my feeling. I choose to forgive and forgive sincely.

May Allah bless us all.

Ramadhan Al Mubarak

Ramadhan is indeed a month full of blessing. There are so many momentous events that happen in Ramadhan for my family. We had just finished off the payment for our family car. Praise be to Allah, the car is truly ours now. We moved to the present house in the month of Ramadhan last two years. Before that we moved to our first house on first of Ramadhan eleven years ago after living in rented houses for so many years.

There were so many momentous events that happen to Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (pbuh) in the month of Ramadhan. Many of the battles fought were in Ramadhan. The fasting muslim soldiers could fight the opposing battalion that was countless times bigger than them. In the battle of Badr' there were only 313 muslim soldiers as compared to one thousand kuffar soldiers.

Doa or prayers are easier to be granted by Allah in the month of Ramadhan. That reminds me to say my prayers all the time, wishing Allah to protect my family and to give us happiness in the world and in the hereafter.

We human, always committed crime against ourselves. We forget Allah in times of happiness but we blame Allah in times of hardship. No matter how much we have we always wish for more, forgetting to thanks Allah for everything that we have. When Allah takes aways something from us that we always take for granted but forget to be grateful for it (like our good health), then only will we realize how much blessing we has had. We human always realized how lucky we were only after we lose what we had. Our list of crimes against ourselves will go on and on. We forget that Allah do not need us. On contrary it is we that need Allah.

On this holy night of Ramadhan I am doing a check list of what I should do more (like being thankful to Allah all the times), what I should do less (like complaining and grumbling), what I should avoid (like talking about topics or people that will eventually make me feel dishearten with the good things that I'm trying to do), ect. O Allah, please guide me in every way for I'm such a weak person. Please give me the strength to follow the footsteps of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Protect me from my own weaknesses. Give me the wisdom to differentiate between the good and the bad.

May Allah bless us all.

Questions? Answers.

Not enough time?

Make schedule. Plan your time.

Too much to do?

Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah that we have a lot to do. That's a lot better than not having anything to do.

Can't balance between family and work?

When we are doing family activities, cherish our moments together. Don't think about work. When we are doing our work, finish it fast and finish it well so that when we are home with our family members, we can enjoy every moment of it.

Not happy with our current job?

There are worst jobs. Beggars can't be choosy. If there are other options then go for it. But if things doesn't work either then don't blame the jobs, blame ourselves. Our reactions determine how everything around us appears to us. Not the other way round.

Spouse doesn't understand us?

Understand our spouse first. Study what makes him/her ticks, sad, happy, etc. Before we can ask, we have to give first. We can't change the world but the world will change when we change ourselves.

Envy what other people have/achieved?

Remember, there are something about us that other people envy too. We must appreciate ourselves first to be happy.

Life is not about what we have or don't have. LIFE IS ABOUT ALL THE CHOICES THAT WE MAKE.

May Allah bless us all.

The girl

She was outstanding to me among the many students that were under detention by the school's discipline teachers. She was nursing her bruises that was still red, exposing her inner skin. I sat down beside her and asked her how did she got the wound. She fell down from a motorbike that was driven by her friend. I asked her if she perform her daily prayer. As expected she said no. She strike me as a girl who colored her hair and wear a veil to school to cover her hair from the discipline unit. School kids are not allowed to color their hair.

Slowly I said to her how much Allah loves her. Have it ever crossed her mind that she fell down from motorbike as a reminder from Allah for her to change? She said her parents had said the same thing to her.

I asked her how much bruises did she have and where? She showed me a few parts which showed that she was badly hurt. When asked why she didn't stay at home she said she had previously signed an agreement with the discipline unit not to skip school anymore since she had problem with her school attendance. I told her the more bruises she have shows the more Allah loves her because the bruises is a reminder for her to chance to a better person. She was very lucky to have such reminder I said. She agreed with what I said and convey her determination to change to a better person. Before leaving, I asked her not to skip her daily prayer and to always ask Allah for guidance.

I hope I have planted a seed inside her. Hopefully the seed will grow in the future if not today. Youngsters will go away from us if we are negative about them. I don't want to judge her. It's not my job. It's Allah's prerogative. My duty is to spread the words of Allah. May Allah bless my efforts.

May Allah bless us all.

prerogative - the right or privilege exclusive to a particular individual or class : owning anautomobile wasstill the prerogative of the rich.

The power of questions

Having to teach 3 subjects (Mathematics, English and Economics) sometimes has its toil on me. But I love the challenge of delivering the best for my students.

Yesterday I taught about external factors that affect the demand of a product. I made them think like a businessman or an economist or the governor of a national bank. What would they do if they were to make a national policy. Among the questions that I asked my students, if they want to control inflation (high prices of product), will they increase or decrease the personal tax rate? That was the first question in a series of directed questions that is designed for students to come out with the solution themselves. Then I asked if they decide to increase the rate of personal tax, will people's income increase or decrease? Everybody answered 'decreased'. OK, will they then spend more or less? 'Less' was the unanimous answer. How will this affects prices? 'Prices will go down'. So if you are the government, to reduce inflation what will you do, increase or decrease the rate of personal tax? 'Increase!' came the excited answer from my students.

One of my teaching strategy is to make my students see how things are connected to each other like a big web. When they can see the overall picture, they know where does everything belongs to.

My six year old Aiman is a bubbling child. He is always curious about anything and everything. He will ask questions all the times. Sometimes his questions will drown me. So I will turn the table on him. I will ask him back the same question he asks me. Then he will ponder for a while and come out with a logical answer. Bravo! Mission accomplished. He can think on his own.

My mission is to produce creative and critical thinking kids. Whether it is my own kids or my students. May Allah help me in my mission.

My Allah bless us all.

The power of empowerment

It's Hari Keusahawanan again. Every class has to sell something to raise money for the school. The usual business is to sell food and drinks. Some classes offer games. There is even a mystery house. Out of the blue I thought of a new business to venture - cyber cafe and cinema. Utilizing the two computer labs that the school have, I'm all equipped for the new business.

I divided my 13 boys into two groups. The cyber cafe group was led by Shakir and the cinema group was led by Hafiz. I just gave each group the general instructions and they have to work out the details themselves. The cyber cafe group find their own games to install, reset the LAN connections so that our customers can play games with each other and set the time table for whose on duty. The cinema group find the movies themselves. They borrowed a home theater system and a lap top. Time table for person on duty was also set.

As for the my girls, I gave them the conventional business of selling food and drinks. Forming a working committee, I just gave them the general ideas of how they should go about it. They have to figure out how to organize themselves.

Sometimes my students asked me administrative questions. I always asked them to refer to their group leaders. I'm just an advisor, they have to organize their activities themselves.

Total empowerment that I gave them has positive results. They learned to organize themselves, how to share works, and most importantly how to communicate effectively with each other. So far I can only see enjoyment and no conflict. They were willing to put up long hours in the evening just to install games, set up the cinema, and go shopping for things needed by our stall. They seen to enjoy themselves tremendously.

Even though Hari Keusahawanan will only commence this saturday, we opened our cyber cafe and cinema since wednesday after school hours, giving us a three days head start. The response on Wednesday was ok but we discussed on ways to improve our service. Today (Thursday) we have more customers. Our income on this second day is approximately double than on Wednesday. Praise be to Allah. We expect to get more customers tomorrow and the peak will be on saturday itself.

This experience has shown me the power of empowerment. When people are given the trust and freedom to do what they like, their creativity will flourish. Profit is not my major target. I just want my students to learn to organize themselves, work together, and enjoy the experiences. Hopefully this will be an event that they will remember for a long, long time.

May Allah bless us all.

Report Card

"OK. Write down your target for PMR trial". It's report card day. I have to think like a parent myself to give the right feedback to my students' parents. Apart from their kid's present performance, they want to know what areas that their kids can improve.

I asked my students to write down their target for PMR trial examination so that I can record them. It's another one a half month before trial and I want them them to target how much they can improve in that time. It's a race against time. I will compare their real performance with their targets today.

Some of them have mental blocks. "I can't", is one of them. I explained to them that it is a matter of your state of mind. If you think you can't, then you can't. As simple as that. As prophet Muhammad said, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h), Allah will not change the fate of a race that did nothing to chance it's own fate. Every progress have to start with us believing in ourselves first. Positive thinking can make wonders in our life. I have my lifespan to testify to that.

I'm in the process to make history with my students. To come out with among the best result any KAA class has ever achived. It's impossible? It's all in the state of our mind. If I belive we can do it together and we work hard at it, then the rest is the work of Allah. May Allah bless our effort with great success. Aminn....

May Allah bless us all.

My son

"He is not concentrating in class. He used to be my star student but after his trip to Paris, he seems to be uninterested in his study. We teachers are wondering whether he had any problem at home". I had the same complaint last year after a similar trip to Paris. What problem does a six years old boy has? Thinking too much about games I guess. Appreciating his teacher's concern about his study, I don't want to pressure a six year old boy too much who is suppose to enjoy his times as a kid. But at the same time I don't want the present problem to go unsolved.

I discussed with his sister and brothers. All of us agreed that we should spend some times for his lessons and kindergarten's home works. Doing his school works with him. I bought a workbook for him to do at home. His favourite brother, Arif, reported that he need to be strict with Aiman to make sure he finish his homework. He really has problem to focus.

Then we changed our tactics. Every time he asked to buy a new toy we will ask him whether he has study well or not. Then he will list the things that he has achieved so far and we will praise him for all his progresses. His self esteem is on the rise. I always try to convey to him that if we study hard we will stand to gain a lot of things. I want him to study because he want to study, not because of all the goodies he will receive if he study. The goodies are just a bonus, not the the drive or the purpose.

Today, after watching the tv he said to himself that he wanted to study hard so that he will excel. It was as though the words just suddenly crossed his heart. I thank Allah for this. Allah has always answered my prayers. Now he is consciously studying for the his own benefits, not for the goodies.

Education is a long journey, either to my kids or to my students. I know giving my very best as a teacher, Allah will give the best to my kids. Allah has always been kind to me.

May Allah bless us all.

English course

Driving home on the last day of a five day English course at Institute of Diplomatic and Foreign Relation in Kuala Lumpur, the faces of my course mates and lecturers kept on flashing in my mind. We are government offices from various agencies coming together with the intention to improve our written language. It was a jovial group and lots of jokes were exchanged to ease the seriousness of our difficult assignments. We exchanged our knowledge and experiences during the daily four meals.

Among all the participants, I was quite close with Kak Shima. What distinguished her to me from the rest are her advices and the experiences that she shared with us. Being very humble, no one had any idea that she is a PHD holder until the very last day. She said she wanted to further her study at USIM learning more about Islam. Then someone asked her whether she wanted to do her master or PHD. That was when she revealed that she has already done her PHD and she just wanted to to further her study for the sake of learning.

That is one thing common among most of us, to learn as much as possible. We have to apply for the course, we were not directed to go. Those who go for the course are those that really want to increase their knowledge.

Then there is Sara, a counsellor. Ever willing to share her experiences and ideas about teenagers, family, among other topics, her friendly personality attracts everyone to her like a magnet. We could listen to her for hours without realizing how time has fly. She never hesitate to share, a very generous person at hearth.

It was an eye opening course to me, both its content and its participants. I learned a lot about the correct writing techniques. I also learned the scope of job of others especially from different agencies.

Hopefully next year I can attend a different course at the same place and improve myself further. Beside the content, I can learn from the people I meet too. May Allah bless me with knowledge and wisdom.

May Allah bless us all.

My new passion

With my maid gone, the whole house is under my administration now. I's a hugh task but I'm happy to say that it's a labour of love. To cook for my family, tidy up all the shelves, mop the floor, take care of the laundry, iron all the clothes...... the list just go on and on. With three of my kids leaving the nest to further their study leaving only two at homes, I feel my task now is a lot easier.

When all my kids were small and I have no maid, to cook lunch or dinner itself was an enormous task. One or two of my kids were always crying because of hunger or discomfort or sick. There are times just to finish frying four fish, I have to put off the fire two to three times to cater to my crying kids before continuing again. Not to mention all the other tasks waiting to be done. We very rarely eat out because all our resources were for the needs of the kids like their milk. No pampers for they are expensive. Just diapers that had to be washed. The moment I arrived at my school to start teaching in the afternoon session, I was already very tired. Sitting down on my chair in the staff room felt like heaven because I hardly had time to sit down at home in the morning. Thinking about it, it felt like it was just yesterday. Time really flies. Now my 'babies' are in university already.

But Allah is always fair. When we were young, our income were small. But we were strong and energetics. We don't have back pains or the such. When we grow older our energy level goes down drastically. But we have the experience and wiseness to work smart. And our income has improved. Actually our bigger income are rezeki from Allah for our kids.

Today I bought two pots of flowers which I hang outside my two kitchen windows. When I wash my dishes or when I'm cooking, the bright colours of the flowers will cheer me up and make my work feel light. I want to enjoy every moment of my life, even when I'm cooking. May Allah bless my family and all other family.

May Allah bless us all.

Our words

How do we judge how much is a person's worth is? From his/her income and position? From the quantity of his/her property? From his/her manners? From the sweetness or nastiness of his/her talk? What is a person's worth?

In the first place why should we ask this question. Everyone is unique. Everyone has a role to play. Nor everyone can be the boss. And certainly we need someone to mop the floor. We should respect everyone just the same - with sincerity. Our smile should be for everyone - not just for certain few.

Certainly those who are closer to Allah are the better one. We can see from their actions. There is one teacher in my school who are close to Allah. She always perform Dhuha prayer even though her time table is packed on that day. She don't talk much and certainly she doesn't like to chip in whenever people talk about the bad of a particular person. Less talk, less sin.

Even though she credited me as one of the person that shows her the way to practicing true Islam, I always feel that the credit should be on her for giving good example on avoiding making sins from our words. I can't remember any bad words coming from her mouth. I'm the opposite. I think I had talk too much. Initially on the purpose of discussion but I usually transgress into defaming people. The line is very thin between the two and syaitan or the devil/satan will make us forgot the limit. Ya Allah, please give me the will to avoid making sins especially from my words.

Quiet people sometimes are regarded as unfriendly. But to me the less you said, the less sins you make. I want to be use my words to show people the beauty of Islam. That the purpose of this blog. With all my short comings, I ask Allah to forgive all my sins and to always protect me. May the words of Allah spread to all. Amin.

May Allah bless us all.

Timely blessing. Alhamdulillah.

I overpaid my study loan by a few thousands. Only after a few formal letters, a waiting period of almost a year and a few times climbing MARA building to see the officer in charge, I was told my check in on the way. It was an exasperating period for me. Everyday I open my mailbox to check for my mail. It was a long wait. After a few more weeks, the check finally arrived. It was a timely blessing because it arrived at the exact moment I needed it the most to cover half of my expenses to Paris with my youngest son to see my husband who was on a two month working stint there. Had the check arrived any sooner as I initially desired, I would use it for some other purposes and ending up having to use credit card to go to Paris which means more debt. And I hate debts. All I can say is Allah knows best when is the perfect timing.

My maid was making trouble and we had to send her back to Indonesia for we can't keep her anymore for what she had done. In another three months she would finish her fourth year working with me. But we had to drastically terminate her service. The timing? I had just finished correcting my dissertation for my master degree. It was a great relief. I was struggling to balance my time between work and family, between family and study. When I finish my master degree it felt like a big hill was lifted from my shoulder. That was when my maid made trouble and we had to send her home. It was another timely blessing.

If we just sit down and think, we would see that there's so many timely blessing that Allah had given to us throughout our life. Our car break down just after we got our salary for the month. Someone offers us a drink just when we are so thirsty. So many timely blessings, big and small.

Just sit down and think of all the timely blessing that we got from Allah everyday. And be a thankful servant of Allah. Allah is always in the heart of those who are always thankful to Allah for every blessing, big or small. Thank you Allah.

May Allah bless us all.

exasperating - irritate intensely; infuriate : this futile process exasperates prison officials | [asadj. ] ( exasperated) she grew exasperated with his inability to noticeanything | [as adj. ] ( exasperating) they suffered a number of exasperating setbacks.

stint - a person's fixed or allotted period of work : his varied career included astint as a magician.