Stick behind a decision

We surveyed for a used MacBook. My husband and I decided to buy one because our second son wanted a Mac, not a PC. A second hand MacBook is about the same price of a new PC. A new MacBook is too expensive. Our second son is so absorbed with GarageBand, an Apple software that can create music. With this software you don't need a studio or musical instruments to produce a record. You can do it single handedly in the privacy of your room.

I called my eldest son to ask his opinion. He said it's ok. In our excitement, we forget to query about the one month guarantee. True enough. After about three months using it, it started to hang for what seem like endless time. Nobody want to use it now. No more queue line. I felt bad about wasting so much money on something that works only for a month. My eldest son said that when I called him to ask for his opinion, he was skeptical about buying a second hand product but since I sound so excited, he don't have the heart to say it. That made my stomach tighten. I said to him, "You said that because things didn't work out now. If the MacBook works pretty well you wouldn't said that. When we make a decision together, we must stick to the decision together. Just like in solat/prayer. Even when the imam forgot to perform the tahiyat awal and straight away went up for the third rakaat, all the makmum/followers must do the same. We must obey the imam even when he make mistake as long as he didn't do something sinful. It's all about staying together. When we stay together, we are strong. If we break away from the jemaah/group because we don't agree with the imam in furu'/small/trivial matters, we will be weak. Son, if we have made a decision together, and things didn't go well as we plan and hope it will be, don't ever say 'I told you so'. That's not the spirit in Islam".

My husband is a very good and fair man. He always ask for my opinion in everything that we want to do. I, in turn, will give him my opinion and ask him to make the final decision. Naturally there are times when he made decision contrary to my opinion and I accepted it happily. When things didn't turn out ok and seem to favour my opinion instead, I have to suppressed the urge to say "I told you so!". Islam is beautiful. In congregation prayer, the followers must follow the imam even when he forgot something. We can't just stop and leave the congregation prayer. We must follow the imam as long as what he forgot doesn't effect the prayer. Muslims are suppose to bring this obedience outside prayer into everyday practices. It's a recipe for a strong muslim ummah. The majority against the individual. I have always been behind my husband. Being a mortal human being of course sometimes I forgot myself. But I try to be behind my husband in everything. I guess my kids have notice this. May Allah give me the strength to be a good muslim always.

A friend suggested to me to bring the MacBook back to the store that I bought it. After a few visits and replacing the hard disk and increasing the RAM, finally the MacBook is running well again. My husband is using it in Paris to skype with us. Staying in touch almost everyday. So sticking together has its rewards! Sweet rewards.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

Keeping my family intact

It has been a long time since it feel so lonely as now. My husband is working oversea. For two months at least. The third time going abroad and the first first time to a far away land. The land that has four seasons and a famous tower that was supposed to be torn down in 1909 after its 20 years permit expired.

My duty is to take care of the house and family for him. This evening I took my kids along to send my second son back to his apartment. The apartment is provided freely for the staff of the animation company. He is working there while waiting for his SPM examination results; SPM is comparative to SAT in USA. We had our dinner at a restaurant nearby. Eating out is an important family gathering even though it is not done frequently. It is a time where we exchange story, joke, laughter, feeling, etc. The most important thing is it is an activity that keep us together physically and thus spiritually. Doing things together has always been the family tradition. When the kids were small, it was a natural sight to eat out together. But now when the kids are taller than us, going out together at almost midnight to have a light meal is something that draws attention to us. A family with grown up kids that goes out together at midnight is something that you don't often see. When kids grow up they tend to drift away from the parents. Allah have been most kind to me. I have a close knit family.

On the way home, my third son played a song from a nasyid (islamic song) CD. "Mom, his song is specially for you. It is your story". I listen carefully to the lyrics. When the song was over, he explained that it was about how a wife patiently waiting for her husband to come home, keeping herself faithful and maintaining her virtues. The husband prayed that the wife will be given jannah or heaven. "Thank you son for dedicating this song to me". So my kids noticed and cared. While handling the steering, I said my thanks to Allah. I'm indeed blessed with a good family.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

My icon

She was the best of wife the world had ever seen. Always comforting, always there when her man needed her. She's my icon. And she's Khadija, the first wife of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h).

When Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) hurriedly came home from Hira' cave after the first revelation, she didn't immediately asked any question. Looking at her shaking husband, she immediately took a blanket and wrapped him up. She let him lie down to rest and to calm down. She waited until her husband stopped shaking before asking him what had happen. Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) told her how an unknown man suddenly appeared in the cave and hugged him tightly until he almost lost his breath and asked him to read a few sentences after him. Only after Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) repeated those verses after the man did he released him. Then Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) ran for his life and hurriedly came back home.

Muhammad told Khadijah he felt what had happened was something terrible. She calmed him down by saying how a good man he had been; he had never hurt any creature. Surely nothing bad could happen to such a good man that is trusted by the public to keep their precious belongings. She suggested they met her cousin Waraqah Bin Naufal, a very old man who is still practicing the teaching of Injil that was revealed to Jesus or Prophet Isa, to find out what had actually taken place. Waraqah asked Muhammad to repeat what the man had asked him to recite.

Read! In the Name of your Lord, Who has created (all that exists),

Has created man from a clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood).

Read! And your Lord is the Most Generous,

Who has taught (the writing) by the pen,

Has taught man that which he knew not.

Then Waraqah asked Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) to describe the 'man'. Listening to the description, Waraqah said that the 'man' was an angel, the same angel that was sent down to Moses or Prophet Musa. Waraqah said that if he had a long life until Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) received his revelations, he would support Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) with all his might for he knew that Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) would received a lot of resistance and oppressions.

What had always strike me about this event is the way Khadija managed to calm down Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h). If my husband came home looking as if he had seen a ghost, I would immediately ask him what had happen. My curiosity would win over my duty to calm my husband down. The way Khadija sooth Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) by saying what a good man he had been, is to me the highest degree of comfort a wife could provide to her husband. A normal wife would say "I told you so!" and nag at the husband about always spending time alone in a secluded cave. MasyaAllah, can a modern day wife be as good a wife as Khadija? Islam has the best example for everything. We just need to open our heart and mind when we read about seerah or the story of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h). It's not just a story, it's how we should carry out our everyday life. Trying to live a pious and blessed life like the example set by Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h), his family members and his companions.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.