Being together

Coming back from school in the evening, I will cook for my family and especially for my husband who just came back from Paris after a three month stay for a job assignment. I want to make up for the time when I'm not around him in Paris and he has to eat fried rice or instant noodle almost everyday. I feel that I have failed to perform my duty to serve him as a wife. My youngest son and I managed to visit him for eight days there and was elated when he went back to our apartment every afternoon to have lunch prepared by me. Everyone would say I went there to visit Paris but that was not my intention. I went there to stay with him and perform my duty as a wife even for a short stay. Paris was a bonus. I would do the same even if he was in Vietnam.

Europeans women would find Asian women as outdated for 'humbling' themselves to their men. I have a different view. My source of happiness is to be with my family. When I come home from school, I am greeted by my roses, orchids, green plants, rabbits, chickens, cat. But they are just the accessories. What make my house my home are my husband and kids. It's the people that make up a home, a family. We would be happy anywhere as long as we are together. From a humble abode that hardly can be called a house at the beginning of our marriage to the present spacious house. We have weathered bad times. We have had good times. But through it all we are always happy for we are always together. Now the birds are leaving the nest. My kids are leaving home for college or university almost every year. But they always stay in touch with us. Especially when they are sick. That's when they miss their mom the most. Now being together is not necessarily being together physically. We are always in each other's heart. That's what matters. Not the materials.

May Allah bless us all.

Family versus career

A lot has happen lately. Time moves so fast. Time for another child to go out to the university world. We went to an education fair today. There was a big crowd. We went straight away to a booth that belongs to my eldest son university. My second son is interested in animation but there was no foundation course for animation or multimedia. To do either of these two courses, my son has to go through the diploma program first for three years before continue to first degree level for another three or four years. So I ask the officer there another similar or close course. He suggested engineering in naval architecture and shipbuilding. My son was happy. At least it has something to do with designing. And he loves art. He applied for the science and engineering foundation study and straight away got an offer letter since he's qualified for it. That's settle then. No more university hunting.

My study leave is over and I'm back to work. I can choose between working in the ministry or go back to school. If I work in the ministry, I will have my own cubicle or room and working in air conditioned room. I will be treated like an officer. But I have to travel long hours and only gets home late in the evening. Less time with my family. On the other hand if I go back to school I will have to find an unoccupied small corner in an over crowded staff room that has space for just half of us. I have to do all kinds of work from keying marks to sweeping the class if it is untidy before the students get in. But I get to go home early and cook dinner for my family. And guide my kids with their homework. To work in the ministry is very tempting but I know deep down in my heart that my family have to come first. I did solat istikharah, a special prayer to ask Allah to guide me in making the right choice. The sign that I got is to go back to school. So got back to school I did. It was only after the fifth day that my heart finally accepted the fact that this is the best choice for me.

If I'm successful at my work place, that's one person success. But if I'm successful as a mother, I'm preparing to give my country five excellent future workers. Workers that can set good examples for others either professionally or in term of Islamic practices. Workers that never fail to perform their five daily prayers no matter how busy they are. Do I really have a choice? No. I have to choose my family first. May Allah bless my choice.

May Allah bless us all.