Compassion

The sound of baby cat crying at the back alley of my house startled everyone. The pitch is high and penetrate through our ear drum. My kids ran to the back to see what was going on. A small kitten, barely a month old, was crying in the drain. It was drenched with dirt. Such a poor sight. My son rescued the kitten. Later on in the evening we heard the cry of another one. A second kitten was rescued. Now I found myself with two more pets beside the pair of Serama (minute/small) chicken and a pair of rabbit. Even the pet the Allah has sent to us comes in pair. Friends of my daughter saw a group of stray dogs killing a cat the day before. That must be the poor mother of the pitiful kittens.

For a muslim this is an obligation, a responsibility. I can't let the poor kitten on its own. Allah will question me what I have done to save them in the hereafter. That is the day when our mouth can't speak (therefore can't lie). Our hand, leg, skin and others will answer the question what it has done. The eyes will tell what it has seen. The legs will tell where they have gone to. Every part will testify what it has done. I have no excuse not to rescue the kittens.

I bought milk powder for baby animal. And a feeding bottle too. The bigger kitten will drink until it is full. The smaller one require some coaching and persuasion. No wonder it is smaller in size. Litle Aiman just love the kittens. So does his bigger brothers and sister. Thank you Allah for sending these kittens to us. It is a blessing. Rescuing and rearing lost kittens like this will make our rezeki or livelihood and luck to increase. It may not necessarily in term of dollar and cent but may come in term of happiness, serenity, peace of mind and the such. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for giving us this chance.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

Startled - cause (a person or animal) to feel sudden shock or alarm : a sudden soundin the doorway startled her.

Drenched - wet thoroughly; soak : I fell in the stream and got drenched.

Rahmatan lil a'lamin

I was quite early. Have to. Must make sure everything will go well. Today is one of the two days that I will carry out my experiment. With control group today.

An Indian girl peek inside the staff room searching for a teacher. Since I was nearest to the door, she asked me about Puan N. I asked around and said to her that Puan N was not in the staff room. She looked at me intently. The she asked me whether I have taught in this school before. Yes, until 2007. Then I further my study in 2008 and left the school. I came today to do my research. Then she excitedly said that she have been searching for me for a long time. I taught her Mathematics in 2007 and helped her to obtain B in PMR examination. She can still remember the advices that I have given her. Thank you teacher for making it all possible for her. Now she is taking account class and her maths now is A.

She was in form 3T in 2007. Not my class. But in my extra class, I invited all the form 3 classes. Not many from other class joint me. She's one of them. Form 3T was one of the poor class. To get B for maths, coming from such class, is quite an achievement. Fighting against social stigma and negative self image. All I did was to give my attention, coaching, and encouragement. The rest is up to them.

Islam comes as a blessing to all human kinds, plants and animals. Rahmatan lil a'lamin. Islam has an elaborate code of ethics. As a muslim teacher, I must be fair to all. Help everyone. Even students from other classes.

As I was climbing the stairs, a few boys were descending the stair. They recognize me. One even shout out loud "Teacher, I love you". That stunt me. But I remember saying the same line to my students back then. I'm getting back what I gave them. Love.

May Allah bless all my ex students. May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

Niat (intention)

A few sleepless nights already, preparing the paper. Once that is done, now to prepare the slide. My maid is still on holiday in Surabaya, Indonesia, which means tons of house work for me. This would be my first academic talk as a master student on an official university's platform, alongside lecturers. While watering the plants in my garden, I reminded myself. OK Ummu Ilman, this is a platform to share your findings. Not to show off how great or smart you are. Streak of bad thoughts always come across our mind. That's the work of satan. I reminded myself of the first hadith in Sahih Bukhari:

Umar b. al-Khattab narrated that the Prophet (S) said: Deeds are [a result] only of the intentions [of the actor], and an individual is [rewarded] only according to that which he intends. Therefore, whosoever has emigrated for the sake of Allah and His messenger, then his emigration was for Allah and His messenger. Whosoever emigrated for the sake of worldly gain, or a woman [whom he desires] to marry, then his emigration is for the sake of that which [moved him] to emigrate." Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim.

While moving from plant to plant to water them (and there's a lot of plants in my treasured garden), ideas just come across my mind on what aspect to touch on and how best to present my points to make a long lasting effect. Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah, Allah always ease me in all my endeavors.

Every presenter is given only 15 minutes to present since there are 17 presentations. Everything went on quickly. After I finished mine, surprisingly the audience clapped their hands. The first presentation to receive such respond even though the event was already in the second half. One of the terminology that I coined in my presentation was repeated a few times by a later presenter which meant that I have made a long lasting effect that I wish for. Thank you Allah for enabling me to share a piece of knowledge. All the praises that I received I return it back to Allah by saying "Alhamdulillah, all praises are for Allah". Nothing is possible without your permission, ya Allah.

To have the right niat or intention is always a struggle. Good deeds doesn't always have good intentions. And intentions is paramount in Islam. As the hadith above say Allah will reward us based on out intentions. The fact that it is the first hadith in Sahih bukhari speaks of its upmost importance in Islam. Ya Allah, please help me to always have the righteous intention in all my actions. Ameen.

May Allah bless us all.

Eid Mubarak

On the morning of Eid Mubarak or Hari Raya Aidul Fitri, my family went to the mosque in my hometown to perform Eid prayer or Sembahyang Hari Raya. The big mosque was flooded with people. Some have to pray on the corridor. The imam recited Takbir Raya over and over again.

Allah is the greatest (3x)

There is no god worthy of worship except Allah

Allah is the greatest (3x)

All praise is due to Allah

Hearing these words (in Arabic) being recited over and over again fill my heart with a feeling of contentment. Ooo Allah..... Indeed you are the greatest. My whole life testify to that. There are benefits for all the things that you have set for me even though I may not see it all. There are things that you set for me that I don't like, only to discover later that I am better off that way. As Allah said in Holy Qur'an - not everything that we like are good for us and vice-versa. Syukur alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah for everything.

Then we went from house to house to meet relatives and friends. We shook hands and ask forgiveness from each others. All quarrel, differences are forgotten in favor of brotherhood. This is the day where satan cried because their works for one whole year to make people commit sins goes down the drain. Praise be to Allah. Non Muslims join the muslims visiting friends. Friendships are tighten.

May this month of Syawal brings happiness to us all, muslims and non muslims. May Allah bless us all.

Tawadduk

After subuh prayer I went down to the hall and listen to Ustaz Zahazan daily tazkirah or reminder. His slot every monday till friday morning at 6.30 a.m in Radio IKIM (91.5 FM) has been my source of self reflection, knowledge, and wisdom for a few years now. May Allah bless him. I will skip my solat sunat before subuh prayer if I cannot make it in time to listen to his slot. Searching for knowledge is wajib or compulsory in Islam while solat sunat is not compulsory but will gain us extra blessing.

This morning he talked about being tawadduk or humble. This is part of knowing who we are. We are the servant of Allah. Whatever we can do and achieved is achieved because Allah permits us to. Being humble to me means, among other things, the more we know the more we realize that we don't know. The more we learn, the more we realize that there is an enormous amount of knowledge out there to be discovered and learned. And it make us feel small in the eyes of Allah for He is all knowing. Allah says the knowledge that He gave us is just like a drop out of the vast amount of sea water.

In this modern world, talking about how a fetus is created from the fusion of a sperm (out of the million) and an egg inside the worm and how the fetus attached itself to the wall of the worm is something common and widely known. But back in the time of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him [s.a.w]) 1400 years ago when Al Qur'an reveal this, it was incomprehensible by the intellectuals of that time, what more the public. Only the believers will unquestionably accept this. The more advanced science is, the more proof of Al Qur'an is produced.

Doing my master degree in Multimedia in Education, I am in a journey to know more of what I don't know. In the process, the smaller I feel in the eyes of Allah.

Ya Allah, please forgive us for our ignorant. We always do thing that is detrimental to ourselves in our foolishness. Please guide us. Only to You I seek help and wisdom.

May Allah bless us all.

detrimental - tending to cause harm

ignorant - lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated or unsophisticated

The power of doa (prayer)

Where did I put it? Surely I must have put it somewhere. I lost my car key. It was the countless time I lost my things. What will I say to my husband? Try to remember the last time you hold it. That's what they always say. Think and recall. Well, that doesn't seem to work this time. OK. Time to sit down and doa or pray to Allah.

Ya Allah. I turn to you now as I always do in small or big matter. I seek only your help, Ya Allah, since you are the almighty. The one and only. Please let me find my car key again.

Say: He is Allah, the One and Only. Allah, the Eternal, Absolute. He begetteth not, nor He begotten. And there is none like unto Him (Al Ikhlas : verse 1-4).

Then a thought cross my mind. Well, why don't you go and check in the car. Alright. The key is not inside the ignition hole. It's not anywhere easily seen in the car. Maybe I should check under Aiman's car seat. Well, there it is. Lying on Aiman's car seat. Who would have thought to search for it there?

As soon as we enter the car, the rain pour down heavily. My kids need to get to school. Ya Allah, please help me. Please ease me in my chore. Only to you I turn to. When we get near the school, the rain was subsiding. Thank you Allah for answering my prayer. My kids got out of the car and ran towards school. Once they were out of sight, I drove back home. It was then that the rain went back to its heavy state, raining heavily. Subhanallah, Allah is glorious! You granted my doa. Alhamdulillah, praise be to you Allah.

Of course there are times when our doa is not granted. That's because Allah has something better for us. Other times our doa is granted long after we asked for it for Allah knows better what is the best time for it.

Everyday my life is full of doa. Not just in prayer or after it though that's among the best time for it. Allah is always near to us but we always forget that. We forget to doa. According to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w, peace be upon him, doa is the weapon for Muslims. So my fellow Muslims, always doa in your car for a safe journey, in your office when you stumble with problems, when you forget something. Doa for everything. For non Mulims, pray to the one and only god for he is almighty.

MAy Allah give us guidance. May Allah bless us all.

Allah, help me.

Should I allow him or shouldn't I? What should I really do? Ya Allah, how weak and helpless I feel right now. Ya Allah, there is no knowledge that I possess except for what you allow me. I am in such a helpless stage Ya Allah. Help me and give me ideas on how to solve this conflict.

When your kids are small, parents are more concern for their physical well being. Are they healthy enough? Have I prepare healthy food for them? Do they have all that they need to study well? Parents are their providers. When kids turn into teenagers, parents have to be their friends. If not, they will turn to their friends and parents will no longer be an important factor to consider when they make a decision. No matter how close you are with your kids, they will constantly test you to see just how far can they go. It is during such conflict that I feel so vulnerable and weak. Naturally I will turn to Allah. As I always do. In small or big matter.

Allah will always answer my prayers, alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah. There was once when I was driving after a clash with one of my son, I pray to Allah to help me. I don't want to control my kids too much for teenagers hate that but at the same time, I don't want my kids to be out of control. I rest my case with Allah. When I got home, my kid was already o.k and his actions clearly tell me he was sorry. Problems solved without me doing a thing, just pray to Allah.

Once, I was deeply in thought about my eldest son. Suddenly I got the urge to call him. I asked him did he do this and that just before he had his (both) car accidents? He said yes. He was sorry he went against my wish and not telling me about it, to put it softly. I said that was why you met with both accident. Then naturally his next word was how did I know about it? There is no way I should have known.

How did I knew it? Kind of hard to tell. But I always get to know about the things that my kids were trying to hide from me. Sooner or later. And for that I ask them to be careful for I never pray to Allah for something bad to happen to them, but something always happen when they go behind me.

According to Ustaz Zahazan (ustaz is a religious teacher), Allah will give insight to those who;

1) takes care what he eat, it is halal or not. And to avoid eating syubhah food, food that you are not really sure its halal status.

2) follow the sunnah of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. Sunnah is the way Prophet Muhammad live his life, the way he eat, drink, up to the way he govern his daulah or kingdom.

3) always read verses from the Holy Quran. Daily.

I have always try my best to do all three. Reading Qur'an everyday. Always look at the label of food that I intent to buy and see its ingredients. Not eating while standing even though it is in a hotel with no seat in the hall, where they serve tea for break. And the such. It is not easy to do at times but for my love for Prophet Muhammad, I did my best. Loving Prophet Muhammad means we love Allah.

I guess that how I knew. Insight that Allah give me. I always pray to Allah to take care of my family. This is another reason how I knew. Because Allah answer my prayer. So Abang Long (my eldest son) if you read this, this the answer how I knew. From Allah.

Verily there is no god but Allah and Prophet Muhammad is the messenger of Allah. One of the many messenger. Including Jesus is a messenger. That's why I love Jesus. To all christians out there, I extend my hand of brotherhood, or sisterhood. To believers of all other other religions, i pray to Allah to give guidance to us. I have always rely on Allah's guidance in raising my kids.

May Allah bless us all.

insight - the capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or thing