Wedding trip

We drove  four hours from Rawang in Selangor to Sungai Petani  in Kedah to attend the wedding of my cousin's second daughter. The traffic was quite busy. We arrived around 1 p.m. in the mists of the feast. A wedding is the time to meet relatives, close ones and long lost ones. 

I hardly see the bride before since she's a police. So is her newly wed husband. During festive seasons police are always on call. Her radiance face portrayed her happiness. She wiped the bride groom's face since it's a hot day and he did the same to her. They looked so sweet.

I get to see a lot of aunties and cousins. A hug to ease the longing. Here we gathered to celebrate the wedding and to exchange stories. A lady called up my name. As I turned around I saw an unfamiliar face. She asked me whether I can recognize her. She can recognize me alright. A few wild guesses were wrong. Lastly she introduce herself as Mak Jang Midah, an adopted daughter of my grandmother from my father's side. My grandmother wasn't rich but she had a few adopted kids. Even though her life was hard enough but she adopted kids of even poorer couples. She had a big heart. 

It must have been twenty years since I last met Mak Jang Midah. But she can still recognize me easily. Maybe I don't change much. Just grow older. But she has surely changed. Even my sister can't recognize her. 

We made the five hours trip back to Rawang after spending one and a half hours there. Making an almost thirteen hours trip to and fro just to attend to a wedding is not a small feat. To my husband and me it's a trip of love. A trip to rekindle our ties to our relatives. It's what Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon us (p.b.u.h) taught us. To honor wedding invitations. 

May Allah bless us all.

Usrah session

Another usrah session on friday with my girls at the school's musolla or surau. I'm expecting one of the form three girls would present but it turned out no one was given the assignment. Some miscommunication between me and my committee members. To me it mean I have not conveyed my instruction clearly to my secretary. Just like what my principle always said in our weekly meeting, if there is any problem that arises it mean she is at fault. Always look inside ourselves first.

In my impromptu presentation, I told the girls to always believe that everything is possible with Allah's help. Don't ever think that I'm not clever like that girl. Or that I cannot score in this subject. Or the such. It only shows that we do not trust Allah enough. 

Imam Hassan Al Banna spent a lot of time spreading Islam. To the extent of going to pub to preach. He end up not fully prepared for his final exam. But on the night before his final paper he dreamt that a man in white robe came to him. The man instructed him to open a kitab or book at certain pages. Then they went through it together. Imam Hassan Al Banna was studying in his sleep. On the next day when he opened up his exam paper he found out those pages that he studied in his dream last night came out in the exam. He passed with flying colours.

Allah's help can come in many forms. Never loose hope and always pray to Allah to help us in every endeavor. Put all our hope and dependance on Allah and Allah alone. I hope my girls understand this.

After the usrah session some of the girls followed me to my car. Opening up the car boot, I asked the girls to choose any books that they want to borrow. Some of them have already finished their final exam and I want them to fulfill their times with reading books that will draw them nearer to  Allah.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

Learning to be a better person

We stopped by a shop to get some coffee packs for my husband. Adhan zohor, the call for afternoon prayer or rather Friday prayer since today is Friday, can be heard from a far. I commented to my daughter that the shop was still open. The owner should be going to the mosque to perform the compulsory prayer by now. Why was the shop still open? Anyway I went down from the car and search for the product that I wanted. That was when I noticed a lady behind the counter. Ooopppsss... this mean that the owner is no longer around. Probably in the mosque already. Astagfirullah....please Allah please forgive me for thinking badly about the male owner. After paying for the products I hopped back into the car.

My daughter told me an incident that happened to her about an hour ago. She was in a shop looking for something with her classmates. There was a male student inside the shop. He was holding a cigarette in one hand and reaching out to my daughter's face with the other hand. Luckily my daughter managed to duck just in time. That made me feel furious. I asked my daughter did she said something in retaliation? She said no because she is in the process of learning to increase her patience. That statement struck me. I complimented her on her struggle to contain her anger. And I said I'm learning too, learning to think positively about everyone and not to jump into hasty conclusion.

Thank you Allah. I feel that my daughter and I are in your guidance. We are both consciously trying to improve our known weaknesses. And we have no strength what soever except the strength that You have given us. Give us the strength to identify our weaknesses and give us the strength to improve our weaknesses. Amin.

May Allah bless us all.

duck - lower the head or the body quickly to avoid a blow or so as not to be seen

retaliation - make an attack or assault in return for a similar attack : the blow stung and she retaliated immediately.

compliment - a polite expression of praise or admiration : she paid me an enormous compliment.

Stuck between two people?

Stuck between two people? Between our boss and our office mate, between our spouse and our kids, between two dear friends, between whom we would like to help and whom we should help.... the list goes on and on. 

Sometimes I find myself in this difficult situations. It is difficult to decide what to do or who to choose. But should we really choose one of them? In this difficult situations I always pray to Allah to give me guidance as to what to do. Pray to Allah to soften the heart of both parties. And I will always ask Allah to solve my problems for Allah is the best problem solver. In the end Allah will always give me a win, win solution. Not really having to choose one of the conflicting parties but instead Allah will always give me ideas how to make both parties happy. Ideas that come to me as the answer to my prayer. Subhanallah. Praise be to Allah.

Sometimes it just take a few minutes. Sometimes a few days of long night prayers to seek guidance. Sometimes a lot longer that that. But Allah never leave me alone. 

Thank you Allah for everything. Only you I worship and only you I seek help.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

Hajj

Nostalgic. My heart will quiver every time I watched TV program on people going to perform their hajj. How I wish I can go to Mecca and Medina again. At least to perform umrah. But as my husband said since we have perform our obligatory hajj nine years ago our priority now is to save money to marry off our kids. My eldest son is 22 years old now. Getting married, according to Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h) is completing half of our religion. May Allah ease us on this holy mission.

I remembered watching outside the bus entering the city of Mecca. The stone lining up on the hill alongside the road to me are luckier than me. They were around when Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) was living in Mecca. Looking up the sky above Masjidil Haram, I saw birds circling and hovering above Kaabah. They are luckier than me because they live in Mecca and breathing Mecca's air. 

Ya Allah, bless all the people that are performing their hajj and give them a mabrur hajj.

May Allah bless us all.

Forgiving?

Am  I really a forgiving person? I'm beginning to doubt myself. I saw her from afar but I didn't make an effort to greet her. Being someone lower in rank I should make the first move but I didn't. Her words on that day when I confronted her as to why I'm being evaluated poorly, cut me like a knife. She just brush me off as if I'm an insignificant person. But I know I can't live with this anger and frustration. It will kill me slowly from inside. I have to forgive her for my own sake. Focussing hard on finding Allah's pleasure and not seeking approval from human instead. 

When my heart quiver when I saw her again after a long time, I know that I'm not being sincere to myself. I had to slowly talk to myself to make peace and greet her. So I search for her after the function was over but she was already gone. 

Ya Allah, forgive me for this weaknesses of mine. Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h) had gone through worst incident than this. During the battle of Uhud, Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) was bleeding from cuts he received from the enemy but what did he said? Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) pray to Allah to forgive them because the enemy are ignorant. Subhanallah, praise be to Allah. How patience and forgiving Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) is. 

Ya Allah, give me the strength to emulate Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h). Amin.

May Allah bless us all.

 ignorant- lacking knowledge or awareness in general; uneducated orunsophisticated : he was told constantly that he was ignorant and stupid.

emulate - match or surpass (a person or achievement), typically by imitation : lessermen trying to emulate his greatness.

My little girl

Reading my girl's blog, I'm astonished of her progress in seeking Allah's pleasure. Just as I'm astonish to her progress with her command of English language. I'm proud of her. 

I've been trying to shape her into being a good muslimah (muslim woman) and the task is never easy. Teaching her to curb her words if it's only to win the argument, to dress up in Islamic dressing code, to feel and act like a girl even though she got four brothers and no sister to grow up with, to like cooking since she was small to prepare her for her marriage one day. 

Raising up my kids I have never and will never claim that I've been successful. Everything works out simply because Allah has answered all my prayers. I try to wake up  at night whenever possible to perform tahajjud, hajat and taubat prayer. Tahajjud prayer is the prayer that can only be performed in the middle of the night, a solid, quiet and serene time where we can concentrate on our prayer since we have no chore waiting for us. Hajat prayer is for special request that we want to ask from Allah. Taubat prayer is to seek forgiveness from Allah from all our sins. It's like preparing a cup of tea. You need hot water, tea leaves and sugar to make a complete cup of tea. Leaving out one of the prayer is like a handicap. 

Allah has always, always been very kind to me. Allah will answer my prayers only when the time is ripe. Allah let my kids make their mistakes and they learn the hard way. After that period of self retrospection, they will come back to my husband and I as obedient kids. Praise be to Allah. Allah don't give what we want but Allah gives what we need. And Allah always know better. 

Thank you Allah for always being there for me.

curb - (verb) to restrain or keep in check : she promised she would curb her temper. 

handicap - a circumstance that makes progress or success difficult : a criminal conviction is a handicap and a label that may stick forever.

retrospection - the  action of looking back on or reviewing past events or situations, esp.those in one's own life : he was disinclined to indulge in retrospection.