Spark of anger

Anger is a fire that can suddenly flare up inside us and gain momentum in no time at all. It is spark off by a remark, an incident, an article, a news, a noncommittal act or answer. Being angry is natural and normal. Everybody will feel angry once in a while. Is it how we react to anger that makes the difference.

Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (pbuh), advise if we are angry while standing up, then sit down. If we are sitting down, then lie down. Or better still take an ablution (wudhu'). The fire of anger comes from satan, so taking an ablution will cool us down. A fire can only be handled by water, not by fire itself that will only make matter worst.

I'm married for almost twenty years now. I have never quarreled with my husband. Even my kids commented on that. They notice that when my husband is mad, I will just keep quiet. Giving in does not mean we lose; it means we don't want to do something that will only makes matter worst. Winning does not means having the upper hand all the time; winning means creating a relationship that bind us together strongly. When our spouse do not feel threatened by us all the time then we have a long lasting relationship. Of course we must clear up all the misunderstanding. Pick a suitable time to do that. A time when everybody is cool down and comfortable. A time when we are more rational. Surely when we are mad we are not rational.

How many times have we regretted what we have said or done? Mostly those things happen when we are mad, isn't it? So trust my words - just keep quiet when we or somebody else is mad. When we scold, make sure it is done to educate, not to let off our anger. For example, if I want to scold or admonish my child, I make sure I am not mad at that time. If I am, I will hold it to a latter time. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said those who are strong are not those who are strong physically but those who can hold on his/her anger. So are we really a strong person? Hopefully our graph is getting better.

Give our best shot at holding our anger. May Allah helps us in our quest. Amin.