The struggle to get Allah's blessing...

Often in our life we are torn between to follow our heart or our religion. Deep inside us we know what to do, which decision to make, which choice to take but we always have to struggle not to follow our own heart. We think that if we follow our own heart we will feel satisfy but at the back of our mind we know it will only make us suffer more in the end. This is a common struggle that everyone faces. It is the duty of the syaitan or devil to put that doubt, ponder inside our heart. That is what devil has sworn to Allah to do when he was expelled from jannah or heaven for nor bowing to Prophet Adam. 

I have to keep on reminding myself to seek the pleasure of Allah, first and foremost. Put my self interest into the drain. No pain, no gain. Allah does not need me but it is I that need Allah. For my everlasting happiness, both in this world and in the hereafter. So dear self, pull yourself and put your ego aside. Nothing, and nothing is worth losing Allah's pleasure to myself. Especially not my ego.

Oo Allah. You know how weak I am. You know my internal struggle. Please give me the strength to do what I ought to do. To feel what I should feel. To choose what I should choose. To forgive everyone sincerely. To forget what I should forget. Ameen.

May Allah bless us all.