The struggle to get Allah's blessing...

Often in our life we are torn between to follow our heart or our religion. Deep inside us we know what to do, which decision to make, which choice to take but we always have to struggle not to follow our own heart. We think that if we follow our own heart we will feel satisfy but at the back of our mind we know it will only make us suffer more in the end. This is a common struggle that everyone faces. It is the duty of the syaitan or devil to put that doubt, ponder inside our heart. That is what devil has sworn to Allah to do when he was expelled from jannah or heaven for nor bowing to Prophet Adam. 

I have to keep on reminding myself to seek the pleasure of Allah, first and foremost. Put my self interest into the drain. No pain, no gain. Allah does not need me but it is I that need Allah. For my everlasting happiness, both in this world and in the hereafter. So dear self, pull yourself and put your ego aside. Nothing, and nothing is worth losing Allah's pleasure to myself. Especially not my ego.

Oo Allah. You know how weak I am. You know my internal struggle. Please give me the strength to do what I ought to do. To feel what I should feel. To choose what I should choose. To forgive everyone sincerely. To forget what I should forget. Ameen.

May Allah bless us all.

Hijrah Qaseh

Squad Hijrah riding program distributing pamplet about our beloved Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Squad Hijrah site meeting for an outdoor program.

There's a handful of students in my school that always wander aimlessly skipping classes. No point chasing after them. They are young and energetic. We would wonder what make them come to school in the first place. Well, one because of pocket money. No school, no pocket money. Some come to avoid helping parents with their business. Avoiding being cheap paid labors of their parents. Some come to see their friends. Study has never been in their agenda. School is just a meeting point.

When I enter their classes as a relief teacher I would always take the opportunity to interview them and to get to know what's in their heart. One particular boy, Hussein (not his real name), caught my attention. He can talk about himself like a counselor. Maybe because he has seen the counselor so many times already that counselor's words has become his script. "Teacher, I'm not interested to study because the teachers are not interested to teach us", blaming others, a common trait of problematic students. "I'm like this because I tend to follow my friends but I know I should't follow them blindly', his perception of his situation. My perception is that he's the leader, others simply follow him. "Sometimes I want to go to the mosque or musolla but I'm afraid others will make a mockery of me". Even problematic students want to change, they are not happy about themselves. But they don't have the strength or the right friends to help them to change. 

I have always preach to my Squad Hijrah students that problematic students are like that bcause they can't find the right path. Why can't they find the right path? Because they didn't get to meet good people like us. Why is it that they didn't get to see good people like us? Because good people like us didn't approach people like them. We have to make the move first.

One day last week in this blessed month of Ramadhan Allah gave me the idea to create a school program for these kids. It took me two nights to device the paper work and the agenda of the program. Bottom line is 30 problematic students will be paired with 30 good students to discuss heart to heart about their problems and to lead them to think for themselves how to solve their problems. But the participants must be on voluntary basis. We can make a horse go to the river but we can't force it to drink the water. Thus, it must be on voluntary basis, not forced to. The school administration were elated with my paper work. Green light was immediately given.

I approached Hussein first, being the leader of his group. Had a slow talk with about about this program especially designed to help him and his friends, he immediately become my agent. Today he came with six of his gang members, all of them looking as haggard as himself. All of them volunteered to attend the Hijrah Qaseh program. Praise be to Allah. Allah has answered my prayer. I will continue with my head hunting job after the Eidul Fitr school break. May Allah ease my Squad Hijrah students and me in our quest to make a change in the school environment. Our effort might be small but it's a good beginning. And I told my Squah Hijrah students who will be the facilitator or student-counselor in the program to pray solat Hajat asking strength from Almighty Allah. Asking Allah to bless our effort with a change, no matter how small, in the attitude of the problematic students. May they be like Saidina Omar Al Khattab who was the worst enemy of Islam when he was in jahiliyyah who change to be one of the best companions of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h). 

Oo Allah. You are the holder of our heart. You are the one capable of changing our heart. Please change Hussein and his alike like You change Saidina Omar Al Khattab. Allah humma ameen. 

May Allah bless us all.

P.S. - got an usrah session after this with my students. Pray for us.

 mockery -  derision; ridicule: stung by her mockery, Frankie hung his head.

• [ in sing. ] an absurd misrepresentation or imitation of something: after a mockery of a trial in London, he was executed. elated   - verb [ with obj. ] (usu. as adj. elated)make (someone) ecstatically happy: I felt elated at beating Dennis.haggard  -  looking exhausted and unwell, esp. from fatigue, worry, or suffering: I trailed on behind, haggardand disheveled.

So many but so little...

I'm struggling managing my time. With my Squad Hijrah group that I created in my school to bring students to know and to love Islam more, I hardly have much time left for blogging. My apology to my readers from all over the world. I just feel that when we feel that we have so many things to do but so little time to do it, then we are not wasting our precious time. Everyone is given 24 hours a day but some of us manage to spend a lot of time playing game. Yes, even games got its benefits but everything must have its limits.

My first passion is to read. About everything. From religious topics to nature. When I was single I can indulge into this passion of mine, spending money on books and spending time on reading. After getting married this luxury is cut down to less than half. Even though four of my kids are already in universities, I still have difficulty finding time to read. So I switch to listening to radio, specifically to Radio IKIM. While cooking, I can absorb a lot of Islamic information from the radio. It helps me to carry out my life as Allah pleases. 

I know when Allah gives me the knowledge and strength to improve my quality of life as a muslim, I'm getting nearer and nearer to my my end in this short world. I'm praying that Allah will take my life when I'm at my best - giving my best to the world. InsyaAllah. Allahumma amin - may Allah fulfill my prayer. Please pray for me. Please pray for our muslim brothers and sisters in Gaza, Syria, Egypt, Rohingya, and every part of the world. My prayer to all of them and their prayer for me. Even though we may not know each other personally but we are bonded with muslim brotherhood that is based on "There is no god but Allah and Muhammad is His messenger".

May Allah bless us all.