Anger

I was mad at my daughter because she refused to search for the missing parking ticket again. Taking a deep breath I said to her that I had made the effort to send her and my two sons to the shopping complex and fetched them again late in the evening and all I asked was for her to search again for the missing parking ticket. And I got a flat no for an answer. When my son came back to the car after getting the spare ticket from the management of the shopping complex, he talked about the animation film they had just watched but I had lost my mood to talk. He realized something was wrong but not knowing what was it. The car was quiet on the way home.

When we arrived home my husband asked my son to help him remove pieces of thick aquarium glasses. I guess my bad mood has affected my son's mood too. He was a bit hasty when putting down the glass and it cracked. My husband was really upset because each piece costs a few hundred ringgit. Thus the whole house was in a bad mood.

Reflecting myself back I realized that I should control my anger. When I failed the whole house was affected by it. It's a chain reaction. If I can control my anger things would have turn up differently. Yes I have the right to be mad at my daughter but it has cost the family a lot. A lesson learned thad I hope I can remember for the rest of my life. I hope you learn something too. As Prophet Muhammad said (peace be upon him), a strong person is not someone who is strong physically but a strong person is someone who can control his/her anger. How very true. May Allah give me the strength to be a 'strong' person as Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) as prescribed.

Ya Allah give me the strength to control my anger.

May Allah bless us all.

In a dilemma?

Sometimes we are in dilemma as to what to do. As to which decision to make. As to which step to take. As to which person to choose. As to whose words to follow. A thousand and one dilemma in our life. To me the answer is always simple - choose the one that will earn us Allah's pleasure.

As human being that is full of weaknesses we tent to follow our heart. I have been married for 23 years now simply because I try as best as I could to put aside my personal feeling and choose what I know Allah wants me to do. It's no easy task. When something goes wrong we always think of doing the worst. That is normal - devil always whisper to our heart the worst thing to do. How do I handle it? I always give myself some times to cool down. Sone private time just to myself if I can. Time to let my anger and my stupid head to go. And let the whisper of angel to fill in the void. As normal human being  we are no angel. Just keep inside our head that it is Allah pleasure that we need to seek in every situation. And Allah will take care of us. 

Subhanallah. Allah has never let me down. It is me that always let Allah down. But Allah is ever so merciful. When I've astray in my words or my actions, there is always something out there to remind me back of the truth. A friend, a bird, the wind, flowers... there're so many things that will give me the reminder. For Allah is always so merciful to all mankind. 

Oo Allah, forgive me for all the second that I forgot you. You are my first love. Everyone else that I love is because of you. Have the mercy to look at my face in the hereafter. Thank you Allah for always guiding me all the way. Thank you for bringing me back to the right path when I've gone astray. There's simply no word to aptly describe my feelings for you. Please forgive all my sins and put me in jannah (heaven) so that I can watch Prophet Muhammad's face too (peace be upon him). 

May Allah bless us all.

What we need, not what we want.

Sometimes there are things that make us feel dissatisfied. Like when we didn't get what we should get. Or worst still when we watched other people get what we think we should get. We felt that there are something wrong somewhere. Well nothing is wrong. It is just that Allah didn't give us what we want. Instead Allah give us what we need. 

If Allah didn't give us what we ask for it is because Allah knows that we will forget him after we get it. Or the test is to make us stronger. Or the time is not the best of time yet. But as human being we are always weak in the face of test.

I had that test today. When I came home from school the windows were not opened. The wet clothes were still in the washing machine. The smell of stale rice hit my nose when I opened the rice cooker. The sink was filled with dried maggie. And my kids are upstair in their rooms. I went upstair asked my son to be my imam in our congregation prayer. Then I voiced out my feeling. I said all these are due to the fact that I didn't educate my kids well. The blame is on me. My son was quiet. 

After the congregation prayer I read chapter or surah Ar Rahman from the Qur'an. One verse Allah kept on repeating in this surah - 'Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinns and men) deny?' 

This verse reminds me that there are so many blessing that Allah has bestow upon me. Why in the world should I focus on negative aspects when I'm surrounded with blessing? 

'But for him who [the true believer of Islamic Monotheism who performs all the duties ordained by Allah and His Messenger Muhammad  , and keeps away (abstain) from all kinds of sin and evil deeds prohibited in Islam and] fears the standing before his Lord, there will be two Gardens (i.e. in Paradise)' Ar Rahman:46.

Ooo Allah. Please forgive me. How can I forget your blessings for even a moment. I leave the solution of my problems to you Allah for you are the true problem solver. You are the provider. You are the sustainer. 

May Allah bless us all.