Having the guts to say I'm sorry

I didn't mean to interfere. I was only trying to help. But somehow it didn't turn out that way. Can't back out now. What's done is done. There are countless times when things didn't go as we have planned. Sometimes we offended others even though we meant to help out. Then the atmosphere will be charged with tension.

When I was younger, saying sorry feel like offending myself. Why should I when I didn't mean any harm in the first place? It doesn't matter if I can't look straight into the other person's eyes. It doesn't matter if I can't ask for that person help any more. My pride is bigger than all that.

And there are times when other people offended us. It hurts to the core. But keeping the anger inside is like letting ourselves being burned down slowly. Like a candle slowly burning itself to the last drop. It's not good for our mental health. And it's not good for our physical well being either. We have to learn to forgive others.

Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h), was teaching in the mosque. Suddenly he said an ahlul jannah (a member of the heaven) would arrived. Everybody waited in anticipation. Then a young man came in. This happen for three consecutive nights. The same young man would appear after Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. declared that an ahlul jannah would come in. Unable to hold his curiosity, a sahabah or a companion of Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. followed behind the young man on his way back one day. The sahabah give salam (islamic salutation - 'may peace be with you') to the young man and asked him if the young man could help him. He just quarreled with his family member and he needed a place to stay for the night. Would the young man be so kind as to give him the permission to stay with him for a few days? Yes, why not.

During the few days, the sahabah watched the young man closely to see just how much ibadah the young man performed everyday. The young man didn't wake up in the middle of the night to perform extra prayers. In fact, he didn't see anything special. Not able to hold his bubling curiosity anymore, the sahabah confessed to the young man that he didn't quarrel with his family member. That was just an excuse to stay with the young man. To watch what special ibadah that the young man performed everyday. What is your special ibadah that make Prophet Muhammad p.b.u.h. declared you as a member of jannah for three consecutive days?

The young man answered calmly. There's nothing extra ordinary about my ibadah as you can see for yourself. But every night before I go to sleep I would forgive everbody that has any offence against me. MasyaAllah, praise be to Allah. Can it be that simple?

It is not that simple actually. At least not at first. To forgive others that has hurt us is no simple matter. But to a muslim that seek Allah's pleasure more that anything else, it is the very least that we can do. Just to gain Allah's love. And it is not easy to say I'm sorry either. But I'm learning. For Allah's sake. No, for my own sake. For Allah do not need me. It is I who need Allah.

I'm still struggling to sincerely forgive others. Sincere mean not to mention the offend done by that person anymore. Not even to myself. Never open old wound. People can change. Don't hold their past against them. I should treat people the way I want them to treat me. I must sincerely forgive to be sincerely forgiven by others. May Allah give me the strength.

May Allah bless us all.