Ramadhan

Ramadhan is a busy time. Everything is done according to schedule. Wake up around 5 a.m to prepare sahur, a meal before dawn. Between dawn and sunset, muslims are not allowed to eat or drink. Then we wait for azan subuh, the call for morning prayer. My husband and sons will go to the mosque to perform subuh prayer. My daughter and I perform our subuh prayer at home together. Zohor and asar prayer is performed during daylight. My family has always practice solat berjamaah or praying together, a sunnah or example from Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

In the evening I will be very busy preparing meals for my big family. Having four grown up kids and one toddler (not to forget myself, my maid and husband), the business of preparing meals is one that requires a lot of energy and thinking. I just cook modestly, taking care not to waste anything in this fasting month. At night after breaking fast and maghrib prayer, the whole family will go to the musolla or mosque to perform isyak, tarawih and witir prayer. Then we will stay on to listen to the tazkirah or reminder given by guess speaker or ustaz.

Ramadhan is trully a madrasah or school. As parents this is the best time for my husband and I to teach the kids to love the musolla/madrasah and mosque and to seek the knowledge of Allah. They can't entertain their sleepy heads or tiredness. No excuse. Even little Aiman enjoys himself meeting other toddlers in the mosque. In this blessed month, musolla and mosques are filled with people seeking Allah's pleasure. Muslims are suppose to carry on this air of submission after Ramadhan is over. That's my wish and hope for my family.

May Allah bless us all in this holy month of Ramadhan.

Sharing is a source of happiness

She's always daydreaming nowadays. Thinking about her hometown. My maid is scheduled to go back to her hometown in Jawa, Indonesia, in another two weeks time to fast and celebrate Eidul Fitri or Hari Raya Aidul Fitri with her family. It has been two years since she left them to find greener pasture in Malaysia, working as my maid.

She has mixed feeling about going home. Happy because she has never ben parted from them before. And it has been two years now. Tension because every family member is asking something from her, baju raya or new dress for Hari Raya, present from Malaysia, and the such. She told me that the burden is on her. She work hard to save money and now everybody want a portion of it. I was astonished with her statement. I told her she shouldn't feel that way. If she put herself in their place, she would feel the same way - eagerly waiting for a sister to come home and to receive gift from her. There is a part of our belongings that doesn't really belong to us. At least 2.5% of it that should be given away to the poor and needy people as zakat. I told her that part of happiness is sharing what we have with others. That is why, I told her, I don't mind if the sweeper that works around my house area asked to fill up her bottle with cool water from my water dispenser. I want to share the rezeki or blessing that Allah has given to me in any way that I can. Especially with people like her that earn a small income as a sweeper. She admit having a sense of wonder of how I can be so unselfish. She wanted to give some charity to the orphanage house in her hometown, to share with the unfortunate ones.

I hope I manage to change her mind setting. Instead of going home feeling burdened, hopefully she is eager to go home and spread happiness to her relatives by sharing. It is not the quantity that matters but the thought.

May Allah bless us all in this holy month of Ramadhan.

Welcome Ramadhan

Ramadhan is indeed a blessed month waited by all muslims. Today, the sky is not hot and fiery as usual. Even the sky is welcoming the blessed month. With the coming of the blessed month, satan cry because they will be chained.

Ramadhan should be waited and celebrated more than Eid Mubarak or Hari Raya Aidul Fitri itself. But that's not the case here in Malaysia. In Middle East, Muslims will take leave is possible to enable them to fulfill the holy month with reading the holy Qur'an, performing prayers, giving alms, attending religious talk. And when Ramadhan is nearing its end, it will be cried upon for fear that we won't be around in the next Ramadhan. Indeed, there are some of our friends that were around in the last Ramadhan but are no longer with us this Ramadhan. Two of my uncles are not around anymore. May Allah bless them both for they are good men, always helping others. So too is Ustaz Asri from Rabbani that is missed by many Malaysians. The next question is, will we be around next Ramadhan?

Ramadhan is a madrasah. Ramadhan teaches muslims to be patient, to stop for a while from our hectic schedule and think about where we are heading after death, to feel for ourselves how the poor feel having to fast when there's no food around to eat, to think about the unfortunate ones like single mothers or orphans. If all these things crosses our mind often, it will feel almost like a sin to eat enormously and luxuriously like many muslims did when breaking their fast. We just defy the purpose of fasting. If Ramadhan is an exam month, just how much mark do we score in term of percentage?

This year when the economy is not so good perhaps we can learn to obstruct ourselves from spending on unnecessary things. My husband and sons will wear the baju melayu that they wore last hari raya. No point buying new one when the old ones are still as good as new. Except for little Aiman, he has outgrown his baju melayu.

Can I make a suggestion to everyone? When buying food at the Ramadhan market, can we buy some cookies and give it to the orphanage house, the poor? Or the very least, offer our prayer to everyone, muslims and non muslim alike. After all Islam is 'rahmatan lil alamin' or a blessing to the whole whole. Blessing to the whole world means to all human kind, tree and animal. Islam has a code of ethic of how we should treat every thing with due respect. Even to tree and animal.

May this Ramadhan be our best Ramadhan ever. May Allah bless us all. Amin.

alms - (in historical contexts) money or food given to poor people.

defy - resist or refuse to obey

obstruct - prevent or hinder

Asri Rabbani

Asri Rabbani, an icon in nasyid industry in Malaysia. For my readers outside Malaysia, nasyid is Islamic song to remind us of who we are (servant of Allah) and we we are going. Asri Rabbani passed away yesterday after he had fallen down before a show in RTM. He cried 'Allah!' when we fell down.

He possess such powerful voice. He can sing both high and low key note well. Most singers can only perform one of it well. He was very versatile and consistent in his dakwah or effort to spread the teaching of Islam through songs.

I was touched when one of his team member told listeners of Radio IKIM that a day before, he asked them all to congregate. There, he asked his team members to work hard for dakwah through commitment to Rabbani group. Rabbani is a big nasyid group consisting of ten or more members. They have been together for almost twenty years since the day of Nada Murni, the old name of the group. He was like a big brother that keeps everyone in his place. He is also their icon.

What strike me most is his consistency in dakwah. He was never involved in any kind of controversy. In music industry, that is kind of hard to do. But he has the strength. Partly because he has a big team members to take care of each other. They have become almost like blood brother. Every Hari Raya they team members will seek forgiveness from each other starting from him first. He is their big brother. And will always be.

He is known to never have said anything that might have hurt other people's feeling. Even when he try to correct his team member, he will do it in the softest way so that they will not have any bad feeling against him. Comparing myself to him in this aspect, I'm way behind. Not comparable at all. Can we learn to be like him? That's one of the legacy that he leave behind. Following the footstep of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (saw).

One of his nasyid song that stuck to my mind is Subuh Yang Terakhir. In this song he said if the dawn or subuh this morning is our last dawn, have we said 'I love you' to our loved one like our spouses, parents, kids, friends, etc. What he want to say is don't take our loves ones for granted and always show our love to them. Thank you Asri for the reminder. You will always be in our heart. May Allah put you with those who are near to Him. Amin.

May Allah bless us all.

Business that will never fail

Listening Radio IKIM talking about saving, they mention the old formula of saving is

income - expenses = saving

The new and better formula is:

income - saving = expenses

My personal formula is:

income - saving - infak = expenses

Infak is spending your money on charity for a good and noble cause. I have practiced that formula for quite some time now. In Islam, a small portion of our money/belongings (2.5%) are not ours but belong to the poor and needy. This 2.5% is called zakat and it is obligatory. Anything more than that is infak. Allah has promised all that we has given away in the form of Zakat or infak will be rewarded handsomely.

"Those who rehearse the Book of Allah, establish regular prayer, and spend (in charity) out of what we have provided for them, secretly or openly, hope for a commerce that will never fail. For He will pay them their need, nay, He will give them (even) more out of His Bounty, for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forgiving to appreciate (service). Al-Faathir: 29-30

I used to feel that spending money on zakat or infak will affect my expenditure to some extend and will only make room for them if there are leftovers. Now I found out it is when I didn't spent on them that my money is always short here and there. After experiencing this for a few times I now knows better. Now I make some provision for this two noble cause at the beginning of the month before putting money aside for expenditure. Allah has promised in the above chapter in Al Qur'an He will reimburse even more than what we have spend. Actually it is a way to enrich ourselves in ways unimaginable by us. My car seldom give me problems, whenever my kids ask for some money for this and that I always have some to give to them, any financial shortage my saving is always there to the rescue.

Once when I decided to hold on first to my money because both my son and youngest brother will enter university at the same time, I face financial difficulty. What's more, I don't have peace of mind that I always have, I was always worrying about something and that weigh heavily in my heart. Then I realize all these happen because I didn't perform my usual zakat and infak at the beginning of the month. So straight away I transfer some money to help children of Gaza. Alhamdulillah, praise be to Allah, I can breath easily after that. My piece of mind is back. That's the secret.

I'm writing all these to share with you the secret of my peace of mind. I remember my friend Lee or Iching said there are other people's money in our money. How right you are Lee. Nice to have you as my friend.

May Allah bless us all.

What fathers are made of

Most kids are closer to their mom than their father. They will only go to father when they are short of money. Or to seek permission to do something, that is only if the mother insist on that. Meal with mom is cheerful and noisy. Meal with father is a lot quieter and sometime awkward. Mom is the angel, dad is unreachable. Kids complaint that fathers can have amicable discussion with their friends but not with their kids. True and false.

True because outwardly that's what father is - quiet and unreachable. Aloof and unconcern. Doesn't really seem interested. False because they work their heart out to provide for their family. As comfortable as they they can provide. Men generally find it hard to spell out what's in their heart. They just show it. Problem is wives and kids rely on words more than actions.

Being married for twenty years (just celebrate our anniversary), I have long learn to be an intermediate between the two parties - kids and the father. Like the function that US ex-president Jimmy Carter did in his visit to North Korea recently. He managed to persuade president Kim to release the two US female (chinese) reporters. I become the spokesperson for my husband. Tell the kids what their father has sacrificed for them. The things that he has to let go in preference for the kids' needs. Makes them more familiar with their father. Change fear and love to respect and love. I guess that's part of empathy that I always practice.

May Allah bless all fathers. May Allah bless us all.

awkward - causing difficulty; hard to do or deal with

amicable - (of relations between people) having a spirit of friendliness; without serious disagreement or rancor

Aloof - not friendly or forthcoming; cool and distant

empathy - ability to understand and share the feelings of another

(The vocabulary is meant for my kids and others that can benefit from it. And for myself too.)

Teaching my kids

Fetching my kids from school, the car is noisy with comments. "Mama, Ustazah S just gave me 28 marks for hafalan (Qur'an memorized recitation). She gave F a full 40 marks. My hafalan is equal with F!" Talking with my kids in the car on the way home from school and during meals are valuable time for me. I like my kids opening up to me. "Well honey, maybe his tajwid (rules of Qur'an reading) of makhraj (pronounciation) is better than you," I rationalized. "No mama it's about the same. I have already checked that. Well at least give me 32 marks, not 28 only since our hafalan is comparable". When it comes to such reasoning that my kids give to me, I'm always speechless. As a teacher myself, I always defended my kids' teachers. But I know that teachers are just human that are full of flaws. It make me wonder how many students of mine complaint about me to their parents. "Oo.. You are o.k mom. You are friendly when you are teaching". Teaching in my kids school, I have taught two of my kids. Some unavoidable situation - not enough English/Maths teacher, English teacher furthering study in the middle of the year, .... Still as I mention in my previous blog, I'm looking for my weaknesses so that I can improve my teaching.

Once my son complaint to me why am I giving Abu 2 marks in one particular section and he only got 1 marks even though their answers are much the same. I simply told him "because you are my son and I am teaching your class". "This is not fair!" he complaint. "Son, you must understand that I must not just be fair but I must be seen as fair. Every parents and other teachers in the school are watching me to see whether I play favoritism, teaching my own son". My son will turn away in frustration. Once when I hand out their result, some students made a remark to me. "Teacher, why your son only got XX mark? Pity him!". My son was one of the better one in class and they were surprised of his lower score.

I'm glad when I got to teach my own kids because I can make sure they get proper lesson. But it will be a disadvantage to my kids in terms of score and they don't like that. At home, I'm a mother, not a teacher. Not that they don't always listen to me but the problem is they always procrastinate and find excuses not to study with me. Maybe because when teaching my kids at home, I'm a tigress, or close to that.

Now my eldest in already in year one doing his first degree. Kids are leaving the nest so quickly. I must cherish the time I have with my kids. My challenge now is to make sure my second son study with me as much as possible in preparation of his SPM examination. That's quite a tricky business for he is quite elusive.

Cherish our time with our family. May Allah bless us all.