My miracle baby

Is this pregnancy an accident? No. Do you realized that in your condition, you are not suppose to get pregnant? It's dangerous for your kidney and your baby's life. You might risk total kidney failure. Yes, I fully realized that. The Obstetrics and Gynecology (O&G) specialist stared at me in disbelief. She looked at me as though I was mad. Or as if I was in a state of trance and therefore didn't realized what I was saying. No doctor. This is a wanted and planned pregnancy.

Ya Allah I am in front of the Holy Kaaba now. I prostrate myself to you as your helpless servant. Please grant me another child that I can raise to be your obedient servant. A child that will spread your words. A child that will spread the teaching of Islam. And if you grant this wish of mine Ya Allah, please give me good health in spite of my health problem. Please safe guard my health and my baby's health.

It was only after about nine months after I got back from performing my Hajj that I found myself pregnant. My husband was elated. Could this be really true? After a gap of ten years? Well, ten years because my doctor advice me against being pregnant. To go against my doctor's advice, I need Allah's help. Praying in front of the kaaba, I feel so serene, so peaceful. A sign that I can proceed with what I want. Allah has always given me signs. In my heart.

The pregnancy wasn't an easy one. At this age, it drain all my energy. Getting to class was an enormous task. No question about taking the lap top with me as my teaching aids. Instead of having regular pregnancy check out at the local health centre, I have to go the my hospital. I have two specialist clinic to check, G&E and Nefrology. There are times when all my readings went up and the pressure on my emotion was so tense. I have to remind myself of my niat or intention.

Your blood is so thich now. It poses a danger to your fetus and to yourself too. You need to take two type of pills. But I have to tell you that one of it contain pork but the Fatwa Council that have ruled that since it is crucial for patient's life and since there's no other alternative, it is halal.

OK doctor, I understand your explanation. I never doubt the fatwa given by the Fatwa Council. But I will never take that pill. Not unless if you scan and found out that my fetus is not growing and is really in danger of dying. My decision is final. I have big plan for this baby. I don't want to have a bad start.

Now my Aiman is almost five years old. He is Allah's miracle for the family. Learning how to read the Qur'an. There is nothing that I can do without Allah's permission. We can have all the knowledge in the world, be it islamic knowledge or psychological knowledge (which is also part of Islamic knowledge), we can go to all kinds of parenting courses but without Allah's permission we will never achieve anything.

Ya Allah, please blessed all my efforts in raising my five kids. Please let us set good examples to all those around us. May our examples speaks louder than our words. Please bless this family.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

trance - a half-conscious state characterized by an absence of response to external stimuli, typically as induced by hypnosis or entered by a medium.

prostrate - lay oneself flat on the ground face downward, esp. in reverence or submission

elated - in high spirits; exultant or proud : the ladies returned with elate and animated faces.

Abdullah Ibn Ummu Maktum

The road was uneven. He wanted to reach the mosque of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h.), as soon as possible so that he will not miss the congregation prayer. In his blindness, he fell into a hole. He can feel that his clothes was dirty. Standing up slowly, he walked back home. Not to cancel his initial plan, but to change his clothes before going back again to the mosque.

Walking back towards the mosque, he moved carefully. He almost fell again but his hand was suddenly grasped by an other man. Holding his hand along the way, that man helped him to reach the mosque safely. But the irony is when they reached the mosque, the man will let go Abdullah's hands and disappeared. This happen everyday, the man guiding Abdullah to the mosque. He would never revealed to Abdullah who he was even when asked.

One day Abdullah can't stand the curiosity anymore. Who is this kind man after all? What's his name? As usual the man refused to tell. Then Abdullah warned him that if he would not tell, then Abdullah would not want to be guided by the man again.

I am the syaitan/devil. I guided you to mosque every day because when you fall the first time, you was not deterred by it. You keep on going to the mosque after going back home to change your clothes and because of that, half of your sins was forgiven by Allah. I'm afraid if you fall again, Allah will forgive all your sins. I don't want that to happen. That's why I guided you to the mosque everyday.

MasyaAllah. Praise be to Allah. A blind man who was whole hearted in seeking Allah's pleasure. I have to keep on reminding myself of Abdullah Ibn Ummu Maktum whenever I feel lazy. Be it procrastinating to perform my prayer on time, read the Holy Qur'an, renew my wudhu' or ablution, perform solat dhuha in the morning after the sun comes out, solat tahajjud in the middle of the night, reading to seek Allah's knowledge, etc.

I always pray so that in the hereafter I will be placed near Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h.) and his companions but what have I been doing to achieve that? My ibadah is nowhere near them. Ya Allah, I pray to you my Lord to give me the strength to keep on improving myself. There is no strength but the strength that You gave us. And there is no god but Allah.

Say: He is Allah, the One!

Allah, the eternally Besought of all!

He begetteth nor was begotten.

And there is none comparable unto Him.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.