Hi! Assalamualaikum.  School holiday now. Tasing the opportunity to update after 3 years.

So many things has happen in 3 years. To my family, my career, my friends. I have lost 3 fellow teachers, 2 due to cancer. It reminds me to take care of my health by taking care of my eating habit dan stress level. Many people say cancer is so prevalent today because of high level of stress.

Nowadays both parents are working in order to earn more for the family. This leave the care and upbringing of children passed down to nursery workers and maids. I have seen many families doing well and I have seen many families crumbling because of both parents working. 

Some people can balance job and family well. They spend quality time with their children. Listening to their kids stories about what happen at school at dinner table. That is a sign of a healthy family.

Some other families don't communicate with their children. Whatever communication that they have, it's always a one way communication, top to down. Give pocket money to the children and parents responsibilities are done. This thinking is a trap. This type of parents are 'rearing' their children, caring only for their physical needs. It creates a vast vacuum in the children's hearts. Gadgets make it worse. Near but yet so far away.

Let us go back to the traditional family of the past where mothers not just cook for their children but also listen to the children's stories everyday. Where fathers don't talk as much as mom but know and provide all their kids needs.

May Allah bless all of you. Till we meet again.

Hi again.

Hi again. I'm back writing after an absent of five years. And I thought that I will never write again because of increase workload in my school.

Gosh. In this present world where performance is based on how much you have done (KPI in Malaysia), workload in my school has increased tremendously. After the marriage of my fourth child, I feel now that I have the luxury of time to write again. And to indulge in my hobby of gardening. Thank you Allah for all these opportunity.

All my kids have left out nest. Four of them have got married and live in their own houses. The fifth child, Aiman, is in boarding school now. Only go back during school holidays. So it means that now there are no more kids that mess up their rooms, leaving a headache to me. Not that much cooking to do now, except when the kids come back home once in a while. More time for myself to write, read and do some gardening. Some of my friends said it must be lonely now without the kids. I choose to focus on the benefits. Beside, absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

Instead of thinking that there are only my husband and me now in the house, I prefer to think that my family has grow bigger. I have 3 daughters in law, 1 son in law, 2 grand children and another grandchild which is due on 1st march. More people to love and more people that love me. Alhamdulillah. Thank you ya Allah for all the blessing You bestow upon me.

How do you feel?

Most of my fellow teachers were surprised to get my eldest son's wedding invitation from me. There were four common responses : 

i) Why didn't you tell us before? 

ii) You look so young to get a daughter in law already; 

iii) Ooo.. you are going to be a grand mother soon! and 

iv) How do you feel about your son getting married already?

The last question makes me ponder of my own answers.

Well this is my answer as to how I feel about my eldest son getting married already at the tender age of 24. I have perform my duty as a mother when I carry him in my womb for nine months. I have given birth to him and I was half dead after the process. I had fed him with my own milk for two years. My husband and I have raise him up with education until he graduated as a chemical engineer. My husband and I have taught him wisdom to distinguish between what is right and wrong, to value moral more than money, to help friends in need, to lend a hand whenever possible, to be a diligent worker, and to make wise choice, and many others. Now our duty, as parents, is to marry him off to a pious young woman that can complete the other half of his religion. Some mothers are sad to marry off their son or daughter. My policy - I always choose to be happy not sad. To be happy or sad is not a destiny, it's our choice. Allah has never been unfair to us but on the other hand it is we that have always been unfair to ourselves.

May Allah bless us all.

Stop and ponder

Busy with our work, 

we fail to notice our baby is a toddler now

Tight up with tight schedule

We hardly had times for our spouse

Trying to reach our office on time

We hardly notice the waving branches along the way

Finishing our assignments

We didn't realize our office mates are hungry for our time

   to share her/his problems with us

Working so hard to please our boss

We forget to please our family

   with precious time spend on a holiday

Working hard to make more money for our family

We fail to realize they value our time more

    to be spend with them

If only our kids can pay

to get a few hours of our time

they are willing to pay

to get back their long lost parents

What a poor life

if it is judged 

on how much money we make

What a sad story

to give expensive stuffs as present

when what our family need

is our precious time with them

full of laughter

full of sweet memories

Presents will be forgotten

presents will perish 

but sweet memories will remain 

to our death bed

Appreciate what we have

while we still have it

while we still deserve it

or it will be taken away

leaving us devastated

realizing we have been chasing untouchable rainbows all these while

when beautiful flowers in front of us

wilt away without us realizing

its very existance 

Don't wait

until it's too late

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

Ali Imran: 14

Sahih International

Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return.          Chapter Ali Imran: Verse 14

Men has always always been mesmerized by women and children. We have always long to have heaps of gold, big houses, big cars, powerful bikes, vast lands full of cows and cattle. Everyone of us want all these things. To own them is like to own the whole world. To own them is like to own happiness itself. But happiness prove to be elusive…. The nearer we are to wealth, the farther happiness runs from us. 

I'm aiming for the 'happily ever after' happiness. By giving my time, energy, thoughts, ideas, to seek Allah's pleasure. Performing my duty as a wife, I sacrifice a lot for the happiness of my marriage for Allah says his pleasure to a married woman depends on her husband's pleasure towards her. Being a teacher, I sacrifice my time and money to improve my students in the subjects that I teach. Staying back until late evening almost every day to make sure I have done my best as a teacher. Thinking and creating programs to make my students know and love Islam better, to worship only Allah and to love and follow Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him (p.b.u.h). Coming home late from school, even though I'm tired, I move around as fast as a kangaroo, making sure I finish all my chores before my husband comes home. When he's home, I want to be a doting wife to a tired husband that has spend the whole day working to earn money for the family. Being a mother I make sure my children are taught the manners and soft language of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (p.b.u.h). My family should manifest the teaching of Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h). That's our best dakwah. 

Everything that we do should be done for the purpose of seeking Allah's pleasure. 'That is the enjoyment of worldly life, but Allah has with Him the best return'. Oo Allah, I'm aiming for the best return that you have with you. Please make my niat or intention purely to seek your pleasure. This world is only a small stop on our way to hereafter. A place to gather enough deeds to seek Your pleasure. We will never done enough deeds to trade in with your jannah or heaven. We can only hope You will forgive all our sins and accept us as your obedient servants. We can only hope You are willing enough to let us see You and our Prophet Muhammad (p.b.u.h) in heaven. To be close to both of you. Hope this is not too much to ask from a humble servant to You o our mighty Lord. Plese grant our wish……(sobbing…).

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.

Grab every chance of dakwah

I have to say I enjoy my hectic life right now. Trying to do the best for my school and students, I never forget my duty to my lord, Allah. Grabbing every single chance to create programs to attract people to Islam, I feel that I have wasted my time a lot less. I no longer have the luxury of having a favorite tv program. But I enjoy every minute of those hectic time table. Thank you Allah for helping me to savor my precious time. 

Ungrateful?

'Surely, Allah is all-gracious to people, but most of the people are not grateful" - Al Baqarah: 243.

Reading the Qur'an after subuh prayer, I felt so touched by this verse. 

Allah is so gracious to me by bestowing a lot blessings. I'm still alive today. I still have oxygen to breath. I still own two hands and two legs. I still have a family to support me. I'm still healthy. I still have a chance to repent and improve myself. And a million other blessings. Some people have lost some of these.

But Allah says '...but most people are not grateful'. Do I have to see a man without any leg to appreciate the two legs that I have? Do I have to be sick to realize that I forgotten to be thankful for my good health all these while? Do I have to see a beggar wearing torn clothes to be grateful for the good clothes that I have no matter how cheap it is? Subhanallah. Ya Allah please forgive me. Please… forgive me.

May Allah bless us all. Ameen.